( no go back to not using your words ) Too much...?
( Despite Lalli's RUDENESS, Emil will forgive him because...it's been a long day. And because he's Lalli but whatever. )
Sure...err. ( It takes him a second to try and shake off the heavy, lingering negativity to try and find something to chatter about. ) Things have been going okay. I've met some decent people... I might have a job soon, and it's not a droll manual labor position eith--
( He cuts himself short, suddenly aware maybe talking about Merriwynne in positive contexts is insensitive. ) Or if you want to talk about home stuff, I can do that too.
[His eyes shut again and his breathing slows, but Lalli's ears are alert and adjusting with each dip and wave of Emil's voice. The cadence was familiar. It was something he'd long since gotten used to, during their time in Denmark and the couple days before. Understanding every word was still new. Wonderful.
He hums when Emil pauses, and shifts to bury his face fully into the mattress.]
It's okay. I just like your voice.
[So talking "too much" wasn't actually a problem, just a fact.]
People here are weird. But not so mean I think. Did...you make friends?
[He feels like Onni, now, genuinely curious over this little thing and kind of fretting over it. Not entirely in a good way, either. There's a clawing creature-shaped thing in his gut getting agitated over the thought of Emil finding better, more normal friends and dropping him like a sack of potatoes, and with how sick he already feels he's not inclined to do much about it. But on the other hand, if someone was being mean to Emil, then he might have to do something about that. If he didn't, you know, die.]
( Emil gets comfortable, folding his hands into the sweater-turned-mask-turned-muff. )
I don't think friends. I haven't known anyone that long. But so far they're nice. ( He can't think of anyone who's been outright rude to him yet minus Lalli. ) Maybe we can be friends one day.
( Which...Emil isn't exactly adverse to the idea, but he hasn't clicked with anyone past a very base level of politeness. Don't worry Lalli, your #1 spot isn't in danger of being threatened. )
In any case, I'm glad you're here. It'd be pretty dull otherwise. ( Which is 100% true. His dorm room is almost empty, he hasn't spoken really to the girl living there, and he's not sure what to do with himself most of the time. Lalli being there gives him a sense of purpose and comfort.
...Oh no, thinking like that circled him back to the idea having to kill him. Calm down chest tightness. Calm down heavy-breathing lungs!! )
...We didn't know each other that long when I thought -- I told Onni. That I thought you were probably my friend. Was that wrong?
[Augh, it's embarrassing to say out loud, and he squeezes his eyes shut tighter like that's going to help make these complicated feelings go away. He listens harder, lynx ears pointed, expectant. Nnnnh, that breathing wasn't great. More reminders of Onni.]
I'm not crying! ( Which is true, and jolts him out of his panic...somewhat. When he goes home, if he goes home, he'll probably have an aneurysm. Keep it together for now, Emil. )
That's...that's different.
( He thinks for a moment whether or not he can articulate why or how it's different, but it's just. Different. Some things he gets, some he doesn't. )
I mean. You saved me, after all. You saved all of us. ( Sort of sheepishly admitted. That kind of instant respect doesn't come cheap from Emil Västerström. From there...he doesn't really know, he just became so endeared. Either way, unless someone saves him from a burning building or something it's a pretty hard thing to duplicate.
Even then...well, it's hard to imagine they'd replace or surpass Lalli, dead or not. )
[It's an odd feeling, swelling with pride while at the same time being brought to the brink of devastation. That's right... He'd saved them. He couldn't always do it now, but he'd protected Emil, and Tuuri, and that weird lady he was apparently related to, and a whole bunch of other people on the train. He missed being that good. Worse yet...]
Is that...why you're nice to me? Because I was useful?
( HE TRIED TO BE NICE AND HONEST AND THAT BACKFIRED SO BAD. Even Emil knows that's not a good response, abort abort abort. )
What? No! I mean, that's not the only reason! ( Truth be told, "useful" wasn't even the first word he'd use to describe the situation. It's not inaccurate by any means, but it's kind of...impersonal? If someone asked if Lalli was useful, he'd of course say yes...but not before selling him up a little more than just useful.
The situation in question was more "heroic." "Amazing." "Incredible." He may have mentioned one of these adjectives when telling Tuuri about the incident after the fact. )
It's more than that, okay. ( It's just hard exactly to put into words. Why exactly does he like this somewhat rude guy he can't understand (well, up until this place) that likes to hiss and PLAY WITH ANIMAL BONES!!! and dump food on him and get mad at him for no reason whatsoever? Idk, he just does.
Maybe it's because he does respect Lalli and his vulnerability and likes when Lalli tries, even if Other People Don't Seem To Care Much and that Irritates Him, and also he has nice hair when he tries to take care of it...but like, you can't just say that. Can you??
Nope. Which is why he not-so-slyly turns the tables because if he remembers correctly, Lalli mentioned telling Onni that he was his friend so!!! )
Why are you my friend? ( Said very curiously. Let's change the subject and see how you like that!! )
[Being useful to Emil and appreciated for it would be -- is -- wonderful and everything. But he says that's not it. Or...not all of it. That Lalli misunderstood.
Good. This is all very confusing for Lalli, but...this is also one thing he doesn't mind chalking up to a miscommunication.]
Mrmn?
[Having to articulate his own reasoning when he didn't understand it fully himself was...less good.]
Um. Um. I don't know. You...were nicer to me than a lot of people. You do lots of weird things, but I don't really mind, for some reason. You... You talked to me.
[Even if he couldn't understand him, it had made Lalli feel less alone. He hadn't even thought he would feel alone to begin with, and Emil helped him. That was a very..."friends" thing.]
Felt like you were always going to be there. But not in an annoying way.
( Aha! See how it feels? Although, Emil wasn't expecting something so...eloquent. Kind of pathetic Lalli can say more about it than he can.
Also: weird things? Rich coming from this guy, but Emil still pauses a moment, wide eyed to rapidly go through their social link catalog. How was he the weird one?
Oh well. He can't be offended when he's so satisfied, as evident by the smile on his face, thankfully obscured by his lame faux safety mask. It's not like he doesn't already know some of this, but he'll be damned if it doesn't make him happy any time Lalli talks about it...but it's especially bittersweet after the previous conversation. )
You're not wrong. ( He says before remembering the aforementioned sweater mask and tying it back onto his face (but of course not before fixing his hair and ears). Emil knew to take this seriously after Lalli asked him The Question, but to hear him say he thought Emil would always be there for him. He has to prove that, doesn't he? )
Don't worry about it anymore. Just rest. ( Watching after Lalli might have been an assigned task at times, but it wasn't, and isn't, a job. )
[Sometimes it pays to overthink things. He had a jumble of words semi-ready. And then that earns him another sweet smile like that... That smile, all for him, just for him. Truly, Lalli is the luckiest man on earth.]
...Okay.
[He really is...so tired... Stifling a yawn into his hand, Lalli wriggles his way back under the bed and curls up. Just having Emil around has relaxed him enough that the wild irritation and bitterness on his face has smoothed out into something resembling a peaceful expression.]
( Sleeping is something he is most definitely not going to do...at least, that's not the plan. Emil's a little too emotionally frazzled to sleep well anyway, considering the whole reason he's supposed to be awake is to watch Lalli and maybe murder him if he starts growing wings or frothing at the mouth or something.
...Wow he really hopes mouth foam isn't a side effect of other weird mage shit or Lalli's in trouble.
The fact remains that Lalli could be mutating or dying or something underneath him somewhere in that little nest of his, and he hopes he hears it if it's going to happen. Brushing what crumbs might be potentially on top of the mattress off onto the floor, he too lays down with his head relatively close to where Lalli is, hoping to hear any commotion -- be it simple stirring or anguished screams.
It's hard to tell how long it does take him to fitfully fall asleep, but it does happen eventually; being emotionally tired does take a toll on you. Sorry your protector wasn't as diligent as you would have liked Lalli.
Just wait until these kiddos realize this was all for naught. )
[The good news is, he wakes up. Wakes up feeling great, in fact, when he compares it to just hours before. The bad news is, he spent so much time asleep yesterday that it's now an ungodly hour for a night scout to be awake, and his loyal sentry fell asleep on the job.
...Well, he supposes he can't really blame him. He still will, real lowkey, but he's alive. Better yet, he's himself. And Emil's okay, too. That's good. Really good.]
Hn...
[But gosh, what is he supposed to do now? He considers leaving and going about his business, but there's the dim thought that that might freak Emil out, should he wake up. Look at that, he's getting better at this friendship thing. So remember, it's because of that friendship that Lalli spends nearly a full minute staring at Emil before gently brushing some of his bangs back into place, then push his palm not-as-gently against his cheek. Pay attention to himmmm...]
( Don't want to freak him out, huh? It's true that waking up to no Lalli would have been way worse. What if he had let some mutant lizard Lalli slip out and he was now eating the town??? Thank goodness that's not the case. Instead all semblance of being gentle is lost after his face is touched, cheek roughly pressed into his teeth.
It's enough to stir him, groggily at first from a pretty disturbing dream he'll forget the moment his eyes open -- namely because he blinks once and immediately remembers falling asleep wasn't what he was supposed to do.
This explains his sudden and loud gasp, accompanied by sitting up wildly. Any hair smoothing is undone as he whips around to stare back at Lalli...who suspiciously doesn't look foamy or scaly or feathered. Just. Totally normal. )
Lalli! ( It's supposed to come out a question, like "Are you okay? Do you feel normal?" but instead is more a demand, like "If you don't tell me you're okay in five seconds I will very likely faint and throw up, not necessarily in that order." )
[If Emil wasn't Emil and prone to the dramatics, Lalli might have flipped around to being the concerned one, at that gasp. The Illness attacked the lungs, after all, filling you up with spores so you could spew it out all over the place. Maybe he'd been wrong all along? But no. It's just Emil. Precious, precious idiot.]
( HELLO?? Of my god, hello is not going to suffice in this instance. His eyes narrow and he pulls down his sweater mask, causing the arms tied behind his head to slide up and further ruin his hair. If he had a mirror right now... )
Are you alright?
( He's not angry...think more along the lines of that concerned mother hiss. Like she just caught her kid playing in traffic but is more glad they didn't get hit by a bus than anything else. )
[Ah... Unfortunately, there wasn't much of a difference between the two in the Hotakainen household, even before Onni became the head, and Lalli shrinks back some with the vaguest hint of distress thinning his lips and making him glance away. Shouldn't this...be a good thing?]
( The severity being taken as anger was completely unintentional but Emil barely stops going a mile a minute to notice. His body loses all tension and any horrific images of having to slit or stab at him are thrown out the window. Maybe the Gods are real.
He could also take this time to point out wow he was completely right!! Like he usually does, with the bonus of being actually correct this time, but not having to murder your friend isn't something to be smug about. )
Oh thank goodness. You're okay. ( This sighs out of Emil's body and he takes the rest of that itchy, horrible sweater off of his face. ) You're okay.
( Reiterating this for his own benefit. HE DOESN'T HAVE TO MURDER HIM, OH MY GOD THEY ACTUALLY HAD THAT DISCUSSION WHAT THE FUCK. )
[Lalli still thinks it was an important discussion to have.]
Yes.
[Just...going to reiterate that and cautiously reach up again to pat down some of that frazzled hair. He's sorry? Doesn't have the social acumen to say as much, but yeah. Something sort of like sorry, anyway.]
I don't feel sick. Are you...? [He was behind Lalli, symptom-wise, so is he going to get worse, or was this really all to do with how much of a loser failure he is since coming here...]
Yeah... ( At least he has to take a moment to make sure that's the truth. Nope, just normal levels of hungry. That was the only symptom he was exhibiting, so if that's fine then he's fine. ) Yeah, I'm fine.
( The patting is appreciated, by the way, and also suddenly makes him aware of his own 6th sense, a.k.a. how jacked his hair is at even given moment; he smooths it the rest of the way, excitedly continuing to talk while he does. )
I just. I half expected to wake up and for you to be half-furry creature -- well, not wake up, that was an accident, but. Thank goodness that's not what actually happened! ( where is sigrun to smack the shit out of him
But Emil inhales, finally satisfied with his appearance. ) ...I'm just really glad you're alright.
[At the mention of "half-furry creature", his lynx ears tip quizzically, like they're sapient and wondering why they're being forgotten about so soon. Lalli himself is about a half step behind, baffled by the possibility that if something had happened, he might have turned into something like the stupid batcats instead of a twisted horror of bone and flesh. He has to take a moment to wonder which he'd honestly prefer. He supposes it doesn't really matter -- by that point, there wouldn't be enough of him left to really care about that sort of thing.]
...Mrh. [Speaking of which!! He pushes his fingers into Emil's forehead.] You are lucky. You fell asleep.
[Emil!!! But Lalli rests his chin on the bed to watch his friend curiously.]
( Can you imagine? The true hell of turning into something he hates. With lynx ears he's already a quarter of the way there.
It's surprising to him that Lalli touches him like this, mostly because...wtf are you doing. )
I didn't mean to fall asleep. ( Kind of embarrassing but nothing ended up happening so!! Does it matter...maybe, but not to him right now. ) Everything turned out alright...
But thanks. I don't think...there was a lot to worry about with me.
( The way Emil says this trails off as the sentence comes out of his mouth in realization. The fact Lalli is glad he's okay isn't odd -- satisfying, but not odd. It's more the idea that, gulp, yeah...if Lalli had been right about being infected, he would have had a lower level infection too, with or without breathing in his friend's supposed zombie germs.
Kind of harrowing, but it was hard to focus on it when all he was was hungry and Lalli looked two steps away from dead. )
( Being awake is weird...Lalli is weird, water is wet.
The question is a stirring one. On one hand, he's definitely sure this was all like he said!! A normal illness!! But if Lalli is right -- and he was fully prepared to believe Lalli a few hours ago -- then they could be going through a repeat apocalypse. )
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[use ur words........
He brings his limbs back to himself, once more weighing his options. Sounds like a hassle.]
...No. [Right? Probably.] ...Will you talk to me? Like you do. Always talking too much.
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( Despite Lalli's RUDENESS, Emil will forgive him because...it's been a long day. And because he's Lalli but whatever. )
Sure...err. ( It takes him a second to try and shake off the heavy, lingering negativity to try and find something to chatter about. ) Things have been going okay. I've met some decent people... I might have a job soon, and it's not a droll manual labor position eith--
( He cuts himself short, suddenly aware maybe talking about Merriwynne in positive contexts is insensitive. ) Or if you want to talk about home stuff, I can do that too.
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He hums when Emil pauses, and shifts to bury his face fully into the mattress.]
It's okay. I just like your voice.
[So talking "too much" wasn't actually a problem, just a fact.]
People here are weird. But not so mean I think. Did...you make friends?
[He feels like Onni, now, genuinely curious over this little thing and kind of fretting over it. Not entirely in a good way, either. There's a clawing creature-shaped thing in his gut getting agitated over the thought of Emil finding better, more normal friends and dropping him like a sack of potatoes, and with how sick he already feels he's not inclined to do much about it. But on the other hand, if someone was being mean to Emil, then he might have to do something about that. If he didn't, you know, die.]
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I don't think friends. I haven't known anyone that long. But so far they're nice. ( He can't think of anyone who's been outright rude to him yet
minus Lalli. ) Maybe we can be friends one day.( Which...Emil isn't exactly adverse to the idea, but he hasn't clicked with anyone past a very base level of politeness. Don't worry Lalli, your #1 spot isn't in danger of being threatened. )
In any case, I'm glad you're here. It'd be pretty dull otherwise. ( Which is 100% true. His dorm room is almost empty, he hasn't spoken really to the girl living there, and he's not sure what to do with himself most of the time. Lalli being there gives him a sense of purpose and comfort.
...Oh no, thinking like that circled him back to the idea having to kill him. Calm down chest tightness. Calm down heavy-breathing lungs!! )
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[Augh, it's embarrassing to say out loud, and he squeezes his eyes shut tighter like that's going to help make these complicated feelings go away. He listens harder, lynx ears pointed, expectant. Nnnnh, that breathing wasn't great. More reminders of Onni.]
Don't cry. You are okay.
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That's...that's different.
( He thinks for a moment whether or not he can articulate why or how it's different, but it's just. Different. Some things he gets, some he doesn't. )
I mean. You saved me, after all. You saved all of us. ( Sort of sheepishly admitted. That kind of instant respect doesn't come cheap from Emil Västerström. From there...he doesn't really know, he just became so endeared. Either way, unless someone saves him from a burning building or something it's a pretty hard thing to duplicate.
Even then...well, it's hard to imagine they'd replace or surpass Lalli, dead or not. )
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Is that...why you're nice to me? Because I was useful?
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What? No! I mean, that's not the only reason! ( Truth be told, "useful" wasn't even the first word he'd use to describe the situation. It's not inaccurate by any means, but it's kind of...impersonal? If someone asked if Lalli was useful, he'd of course say yes...but not before selling him up a little more than just useful.
The situation in question was more "heroic." "Amazing." "Incredible." He may have mentioned one of these adjectives when telling Tuuri about the incident after the fact. )
It's more than that, okay. ( It's just hard exactly to put into words. Why exactly does he like this somewhat rude guy he can't understand (well, up until this place) that likes to hiss and PLAY WITH ANIMAL BONES!!! and dump food on him and get mad at him for no reason whatsoever? Idk, he just does.
Maybe it's because he does respect Lalli and his vulnerability and likes when Lalli tries, even if Other People Don't Seem To Care Much and that Irritates Him, and also he has nice hair when he tries to take care of it...but like, you can't just say that. Can you??
Nope. Which is why he not-so-slyly turns the tables because if he remembers correctly, Lalli mentioned telling Onni that he was his friend so!!! )
Why are you my friend? ( Said very curiously. Let's change the subject and see how you like that!! )
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Good. This is all very confusing for Lalli, but...this is also one thing he doesn't mind chalking up to a miscommunication.]
Mrmn?
[Having to articulate his own reasoning when he didn't understand it fully himself was...less good.]
Um. Um. I don't know. You...were nicer to me than a lot of people. You do lots of weird things, but I don't really mind, for some reason. You... You talked to me.
[Even if he couldn't understand him, it had made Lalli feel less alone. He hadn't even thought he would feel alone to begin with, and Emil helped him. That was a very..."friends" thing.]
Felt like you were always going to be there. But not in an annoying way.
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Also: weird things? Rich coming from this guy, but Emil still pauses a moment, wide eyed to rapidly go through their social link catalog. How was he the weird one?
Oh well. He can't be offended when he's so satisfied, as evident by the smile on his face, thankfully obscured by his lame faux safety mask. It's not like he doesn't already know some of this, but he'll be damned if it doesn't make him happy any time Lalli talks about it...but it's especially bittersweet after the previous conversation. )
You're not wrong. ( He says before remembering the aforementioned sweater mask and tying it back onto his face (but of course not before fixing his hair and ears). Emil knew to take this seriously after Lalli asked him The Question, but to hear him say he thought Emil would always be there for him. He has to prove that, doesn't he? )
Don't worry about it anymore. Just rest. ( Watching after Lalli might have been an assigned task at times, but it wasn't, and isn't, a job. )
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...Okay.
[He really is...so tired... Stifling a yawn into his hand, Lalli wriggles his way back under the bed and curls up. Just having Emil around has relaxed him enough that the wild irritation and bitterness on his face has smoothed out into something resembling a peaceful expression.]
G'night, Emil.
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( Sleeping is something he is most definitely not going to do...at least, that's not the plan. Emil's a little too emotionally frazzled to sleep well anyway, considering the whole reason he's supposed to be awake is to watch Lalli and maybe murder him if he starts growing wings or frothing at the mouth or something.
...Wow he really hopes mouth foam isn't a side effect of other weird mage shit or Lalli's in trouble.
The fact remains that Lalli could be mutating or dying or something underneath him somewhere in that little nest of his, and he hopes he hears it if it's going to happen. Brushing what crumbs might be potentially on top of the mattress off onto the floor, he too lays down with his head relatively close to where Lalli is, hoping to hear any commotion -- be it simple stirring or anguished screams.
It's hard to tell how long it does take him to fitfully fall asleep, but it does happen eventually; being emotionally tired does take a toll on you. Sorry your protector wasn't as diligent as you would have liked Lalli.
Just wait until these kiddos realize this was all for naught. )
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...Well, he supposes he can't really blame him. He still will, real lowkey, but he's alive. Better yet, he's himself. And Emil's okay, too. That's good. Really good.]
Hn...
[But gosh, what is he supposed to do now? He considers leaving and going about his business, but there's the dim thought that that might freak Emil out, should he wake up. Look at that, he's getting better at this friendship thing. So remember, it's because of that friendship that Lalli spends nearly a full minute staring at Emil before gently brushing some of his bangs back into place, then push his palm not-as-gently against his cheek. Pay attention to himmmm...]
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It's enough to stir him, groggily at first from a pretty disturbing dream he'll forget the moment his eyes open -- namely because he blinks once and immediately remembers falling asleep wasn't what he was supposed to do.
This explains his sudden and loud gasp, accompanied by sitting up wildly. Any hair smoothing is undone as he whips around to stare back at Lalli...who suspiciously doesn't look foamy or scaly or feathered. Just. Totally normal. )
Lalli! ( It's supposed to come out a question, like "Are you okay? Do you feel normal?" but instead is more a demand, like "If you don't tell me you're okay in five seconds I will very likely faint and throw up, not necessarily in that order." )
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Hello.
[HE'S FINE]
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Are you alright?
( He's not angry...think more along the lines of that concerned mother hiss. Like she just caught her kid playing in traffic but is more glad they didn't get hit by a bus than anything else. )
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...Yes? I am okay. Yes.
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He could also take this time to point out wow he was completely right!! Like he usually does, with the bonus of being actually correct this time, but not having to murder your friend isn't something to be smug about. )
Oh thank goodness. You're okay. ( This sighs out of Emil's body and he takes the rest of that itchy, horrible sweater off of his face. ) You're okay.
( Reiterating this for his own benefit. HE DOESN'T HAVE TO MURDER HIM, OH MY GOD THEY ACTUALLY HAD THAT DISCUSSION WHAT THE FUCK. )
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Yes.
[Just...going to reiterate that and cautiously reach up again to pat down some of that frazzled hair. He's sorry? Doesn't have the social acumen to say as much, but yeah. Something sort of like sorry, anyway.]
I don't feel sick. Are you...? [He was behind Lalli, symptom-wise, so is he going to get worse, or was this really all to do with how much of a loser failure he is since coming here...]
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( The patting is appreciated, by the way, and also suddenly makes him aware of his own 6th sense, a.k.a. how jacked his hair is at even given moment; he smooths it the rest of the way, excitedly continuing to talk while he does. )
I just. I half expected to wake up and for you to be half-furry creature -- well, not wake up, that was an accident, but. Thank goodness that's not what actually happened! ( where is sigrun to smack the shit out of him
But Emil inhales, finally satisfied with his appearance. ) ...I'm just really glad you're alright.
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...Mrh. [Speaking of which!! He pushes his fingers into Emil's forehead.] You are lucky. You fell asleep.
[Emil!!! But Lalli rests his chin on the bed to watch his friend curiously.]
I am glad you are alright, too.
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It's surprising to him that Lalli touches him like this, mostly because...wtf are you doing. )
I didn't mean to fall asleep. ( Kind of embarrassing but nothing ended up happening so!! Does it matter...maybe, but not to him right now. ) Everything turned out alright...
But thanks. I don't think...there was a lot to worry about with me.
( The way Emil says this trails off as the sentence comes out of his mouth in realization. The fact Lalli is glad he's okay isn't odd -- satisfying, but not odd. It's more the idea that, gulp, yeah...if Lalli had been right about being infected, he would have had a lower level infection too, with or without breathing in his friend's supposed zombie germs.
Kind of harrowing, but it was hard to focus on it when all he was was hungry and Lalli looked two steps away from dead. )
Just. Thanks.
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...Being awake right now is weird. Do you think everyone is okay?
[What if it's just because they're immune... ALSO what do you mean those were two very different topics he introduced?]
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The question is a stirring one. On one hand, he's definitely sure this was all like he said!! A normal illness!! But if Lalli is right -- and he was fully prepared to believe Lalli a few hours ago -- then they could be going through a repeat apocalypse. )
Maybe. ...I want to think so. But I don't know.
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I will go find out, since I am awake.
[He wasted too much time fearing death last night. Time to make himself useful.]
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