( The realization of what Lalli means hits him after he says the word "kill" and his eyes go wide and his face freezes. The question after that doesn't register, but a crushing weight on his chest does. Holy shit. Holy shit.
Even in the case of there being real infection going around in the silent world, Emil never considered a teammate actually being affected. The possibility was present, that's what decontamination procedures are for, no matter how pedantic and boring they may be...but that applied to freaks like Reynir or to Tuuri. To think of Lalli infected to the point of change was impossible, and so it was never even a "what if" scenario to play around with in his mind. )
What? No...! No, I-- No! ( He trails off, unable to find the ability to reiterate the words, even in a rejection. Emil has trouble mercy killing a dog, how in the hell is he supposed to help kill his best friend? Emil sits up, breaking eye contact in an attempt to let it sink in, almost immediately in a panic. Not only is he thinking about the idea of killing Lalli, even if he doesn't look like Lalli, but the idea that Lalli just asked him himself. )
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Even in the case of there being real infection going around in the silent world, Emil never considered a teammate actually being affected. The possibility was present, that's what decontamination procedures are for, no matter how pedantic and boring they may be...but that applied to freaks like Reynir or to Tuuri. To think of Lalli infected to the point of change was impossible, and so it was never even a "what if" scenario to play around with in his mind. )
What? No...! No, I-- No! ( He trails off, unable to find the ability to reiterate the words, even in a rejection. Emil has trouble mercy killing a dog, how in the hell is he supposed to help kill his best friend? Emil sits up, breaking eye contact in an attempt to let it sink in, almost immediately in a panic. Not only is he thinking about the idea of killing Lalli, even if he doesn't look like Lalli, but the idea that Lalli just asked him himself. )