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[At least to start out. Sorry about the hour, but he wouldn't have been able to sleep peacefully even if he didn't have weird magic insomnia, after the day he had.
Still, if Emil doesn't get back to him after a few telepathic nudges, he'll try again later. Like every hour and a half. This is him showing restraint.]
Still, if Emil doesn't get back to him after a few telepathic nudges, he'll try again later. Like every hour and a half. This is him showing restraint.]
( Don't worry, Emil gets the message the first time. It's actually the first time he's been jolted out of sleep by the weird sensation, but once it happens he's as awake as he can be.
It's at least convenient to have an image of who is sending these nudges. If it was some speed dating rando he'd have to swipe left on that shit pretty quick. )
Lalli? What is it? ( Getting right to the point because something is probably up if he's pinging him at fuck o'clock. )
It's at least convenient to have an image of who is sending these nudges. If it was some speed dating rando he'd have to swipe left on that shit pretty quick. )
Lalli? What is it? ( Getting right to the point because something is probably up if he's pinging him at fuck o'clock. )
[Honestly, having Emil be a little more sluggish right now isn't so bad. He can always dismiss this as a crazy dream if he regrets it later, this way, and talking...is just easier. Not being face to face and feeling smothered by the presence of another is good, too.]
You. Us.
I don't want to lose you like I lose everyone else.
You. Us.
I don't want to lose you like I lose everyone else.
( The somber thought is sobering -- enough to make him blink a few times and turn over on his marketplace bed, staring at the open room instead of the wall. Does he mean like...dying?
Actually he doesn't know if Lalli has other dead family members, so assuming that probably isn't it. Maybe. )
I'm not going anywhere. Well, as far as I know. ( Kind of a foot in mouth thing to include, but he's groggy. ) There's nothing to really be afraid of.
Actually he doesn't know if Lalli has other dead family members, so assuming that probably isn't it. Maybe. )
I'm not going anywhere. Well, as far as I know. ( Kind of a foot in mouth thing to include, but he's groggy. ) There's nothing to really be afraid of.
( It's a hard thing to respond to because there's a sentiment of disbelief, but he's not too stupid as to think Lalli's being accusatory, calling him a liar. It's become abundantly clear as of late that someone leaving isn't something within control.
More negative emotions he can't friendship speech his way out of, awesome. )
I...guess I can't make promises. ( It's the harsh reality and it hurts to have to face it, especially in the face of uncertainty. ) But that doesn't mean anything in the long run. Neither of us are in danger right now...and we know how to take care of ourselves, and each other. You can't say something always happens until it actually does happen, and I'm still here after all.
This world hopping business makes things a little more complicated, but we've done well so far, haven't we? ( Just because he can't friendship speech his way out of it doesn't mean he won't try. )
More negative emotions he can't friendship speech his way out of, awesome. )
I...guess I can't make promises. ( It's the harsh reality and it hurts to have to face it, especially in the face of uncertainty. ) But that doesn't mean anything in the long run. Neither of us are in danger right now...and we know how to take care of ourselves, and each other. You can't say something always happens until it actually does happen, and I'm still here after all.
This world hopping business makes things a little more complicated, but we've done well so far, haven't we? ( Just because he can't friendship speech his way out of it doesn't mean he won't try. )
Have we?
[From where he's sitting, it looks like disaster after disaster, tbh. Even if you take out that whole mess back home, he sent himself into a magical coma and didn't even have anything positive to show for it. He'll never understand this hope that always shone through the bleakest times for Emil...]
Mrrh. Never mind... I thought it would be easier. Not being friends? I thought it would help.
[From where he's sitting, it looks like disaster after disaster, tbh. Even if you take out that whole mess back home, he sent himself into a magical coma and didn't even have anything positive to show for it. He'll never understand this hope that always shone through the bleakest times for Emil...]
Mrrh. Never mind... I thought it would be easier. Not being friends? I thought it would help.
( Well, at least Emil is proud that he took pretty good care of his friend in a coma. Having magic of his own sucks, and so does burning things down, but no one has died or been wounded -- that seems like a good thing.
Emil doesn't really have anything to say about that, though -- he thinks through a few things, but he sort of stops on something else. )
...Did you not want to be friends with me? ( IT'S GREAT THAT THEY ARE FRIENDS but inserting "were" into that equations is saddening. )
Emil doesn't really have anything to say about that, though -- he thinks through a few things, but he sort of stops on something else. )
...Did you not want to be friends with me? ( IT'S GREAT THAT THEY ARE FRIENDS but inserting "were" into that equations is saddening. )
[Silence. Sadness. Finally,] I'm not like you, Emil. Nothing about you makes sense to me... When I thought we were friends, I thought...things could be okay? But things aren't like that, for me. Even if you still think they are.
I don't want...that to get you hurt.
[But thanks to telepathy, there's still...something there. Some invisible need reaching out and grabbing hold like if it lets go, there's no coming back from the fall ahead of it. It's starved for something like Emil. What Emil can do for Lalli.
He can't let go... He doesn't want to. And he wants to be selfish, again.]
I don't want...that to get you hurt.
[But thanks to telepathy, there's still...something there. Some invisible need reaching out and grabbing hold like if it lets go, there's no coming back from the fall ahead of it. It's starved for something like Emil. What Emil can do for Lalli.
He can't let go... He doesn't want to. And he wants to be selfish, again.]
( Emil doesn't want to be angry or sad, but he also can't help it. Lalli isn't the only one of the two who thinks of themselves before others at times. Emil's grown to consider Lalli -- maybe not above himself, but at least aside himself.
It's the least he can do to try and keep a lid on it as much as possible, but some of his impulsive emotion comes through. )
Nothing about me makes sense to you? I don't understand everything about you either -- but I'm trying! I wouldn't just stop being friends with you because of it, either!
( Ughhhh, he doesn't like feeling so negatively. He also knows there's no use talking to Lalli like this, it'll just end with no one being happy with the exchange. Evidence he's trying. )
It's not a bad thing to worry -- I mean, I was worried about you the other day and everything. But I'm also responsible for myself. ( It's actually sort of weird to vocalize that he's learned that lesson. A few months ago, even after the miracle of military training, taking full responsibility for himself would have been nearly impossible. ) You can't just put everything on yourself. I don't think that's what being friends is about.
( Not that he has a lot of experience in that area -- Lalli is his first friend, after all. But that makes him feel good. He doesn't want it to make Lalli feel bad. )
It's the least he can do to try and keep a lid on it as much as possible, but some of his impulsive emotion comes through. )
Nothing about me makes sense to you? I don't understand everything about you either -- but I'm trying! I wouldn't just stop being friends with you because of it, either!
( Ughhhh, he doesn't like feeling so negatively. He also knows there's no use talking to Lalli like this, it'll just end with no one being happy with the exchange. Evidence he's trying. )
It's not a bad thing to worry -- I mean, I was worried about you the other day and everything. But I'm also responsible for myself. ( It's actually sort of weird to vocalize that he's learned that lesson. A few months ago, even after the miracle of military training, taking full responsibility for himself would have been nearly impossible. ) You can't just put everything on yourself. I don't think that's what being friends is about.
( Not that he has a lot of experience in that area -- Lalli is his first friend, after all. But that makes him feel good. He doesn't want it to make Lalli feel bad. )
[No... Emil's right, it doesn't sound like that's what being friends is. But how could he not, when he was the connecting factor of all the horrible things that happened around him? How could he expose Emil to almost certain misery? Just because he wanted a friend...
He's responsible for himself. He's...
Gods, he's not ready. Whoever 'he' was.]
What would make you stop being friends with me?
He's responsible for himself. He's...
Gods, he's not ready. Whoever 'he' was.]
What would make you stop being friends with me?
( Lalli's comeback is a pleasant surprise -- well, in the context that at least he's not as upset as he could be. It's still a question that catches Emil off guard since he has no easy answer to that.
It's just not something he's thought about. He'll parse it over for a while. )
...I can't really think of anything. I believe the point of being friends is trying to avoid things like that. "Through thick and thin," I think is the phrase.
( Which shows a lot of growth considering a year ago the list could have rambled on for a good few minutes. )
It's just not something he's thought about. He'll parse it over for a while. )
...I can't really think of anything. I believe the point of being friends is trying to avoid things like that. "Through thick and thin," I think is the phrase.
( Which shows a lot of growth considering a year ago the list could have rambled on for a good few minutes. )
...
[holy shit what a stupid, lovely boy. Like, he's not really sure what to do about that, it's so beautiful and completely moronic?]
I don't really know how you're alive.
[FOR REAL. WHAT THE FUCK. PEOPLE WITH A LOT MORE INTELLIGENCE AND SKILL THAN EMIL F. VÄSTERSTRÖM (THE F STANDS FOR FUCKING) WERE DEAD, AND SOME OF THEM GONE. HE'S MADE IT SO FAR, AGAINST ALL ODDS...]
[holy shit what a stupid, lovely boy. Like, he's not really sure what to do about that, it's so beautiful and completely moronic?]
I don't really know how you're alive.
[FOR REAL. WHAT THE FUCK. PEOPLE WITH A LOT MORE INTELLIGENCE AND SKILL THAN EMIL F. VÄSTERSTRÖM (THE F STANDS FOR FUCKING) WERE DEAD, AND SOME OF THEM GONE. HE'S MADE IT SO FAR, AGAINST ALL ODDS...]
You're really stupid?
[SORRY...]
But if it means...you can smile like that, I guess that's okay. Once you're safe. I want you to be able to keep doing that.
[For the both of them. Not in his stead, but... Something else. Something that was still benefitting him, even if he didn't understand it.]
[SORRY...]
But if it means...you can smile like that, I guess that's okay. Once you're safe. I want you to be able to keep doing that.
[For the both of them. Not in his stead, but... Something else. Something that was still benefitting him, even if he didn't understand it.]
I'm...not sure if I should be offended or not?
( Upon further inspection the soft feeling of -- did Lalli just tell him he wanted him to keep smiling? He thinks so. -- the positive part of that telepathy message wins against being called stupid. )
If you want to work on being better friends, you probably shouldn't call me -- or other people -- stupid all the time.
But thanks...I appreciate it. I don't think I'm in any immediate danger, so you don't have to worry about my safety.
( Upon further inspection the soft feeling of -- did Lalli just tell him he wanted him to keep smiling? He thinks so. -- the positive part of that telepathy message wins against being called stupid. )
If you want to work on being better friends, you probably shouldn't call me -- or other people -- stupid all the time.
But thanks...I appreciate it. I don't think I'm in any immediate danger, so you don't have to worry about my safety.
I am not. ( He'll never understand why Lalli thinks this considering he is the epitome of intelligence. )
Even if you think things like that, it's rude to say it all the time -- like if I called you weird every day.
( He.....literally probably has in some form or fashion. )
Even if you think things like that, it's rude to say it all the time -- like if I called you weird every day.
( He.....literally probably has in some form or fashion. )
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