( No, but it's something to be done. Maybe the most responsible he's been about anything in his life, but it feels...satisfying. To have a need, and then work to fulfil that need. It's a good thing he throws himself so wholeheartedly into what he feels passionate about. Makes the strenuous part of it all the more bearable. )
I can't imagine how you run all that way. Pretty amazing. ( In a show of the exact opposite of that stamina, his arm gives in and flops to his side, showcasing the ceiling instead of his face. ) I wonder if there's something out there that's not woods, eventually. Some ocean maybe. There has to be eventually, right?
❰ to all of it, lalli just shrugs - but emil can't see that, he knows. so after a few seconds, he adds: ❱ Could be. ❰ a beat, and then: ❱ Not going far enough to find out. ❰ not unless emil learns to navigate the woods well enough to come along, and that's not something he considers all that feasible. ❱
( It's not that he has some affinity for the ocean -- it's there, it offers transport, it's nice sometimes. When Emil thinks about the forest, what's beyond it, how much they don't know about where they are...sometimes it's impossible to not ruminate on how he's not at home anymore, and who know if he'll ever have a chance of going back.
It would be nice, just to see or hear the Atlantic again. )
Lalli. Do you ever think about being back in our-- ( Universe? Dimension? The world of the living? He still doesn't know how to articulate what verbiage best qualifies. ) Well, Finland? Home?
( It's actually not what Emil expects to hear, as he shifts onto his side and bends his arm over itself, keeping his eye-line on the stream of the wilderness. He had such an attachment to his Gods and all, didn't he? Those Gods that were left at home, unable to speak to him here? Or maybe it's a defense mechanism, pushing it away so as not to think about it.
Either way, or perhaps there's another reason, it piques Emil's curiosity. And yet, he searches for his own answer, and finds that he has a similar sentiment. )
I miss my family from time to time. I miss...Sweden. ( More like the concept of nationalism, familiar language spoken wherever he goes. The more he thinks about it, the more that a lot of qualifiers feel like they apply to where he is right now: a grounded feeling of being home, a knowledge that he has a purpose for being there. ) I didn't expect to feel so comfortable here. The house helps, I suppose, but...I don't know. It gets easier to think about it all the longer we've stayed here.
( He stretches his neck, leaning more into the pillow he's half-laying on. With that line of thinking, maybe one day he'll just acclimate to Asgard altogether. It flusters him, momentarily, to think about that big of a change. )
❰ in part, it is a defense mechanism. it's not as if he doesn't feel the absence of his gods, the numb where his luonto either is or isn't.
but they've found a place that the rash isn't. a place with walking gods that draw people back from the dead and let them live and be happy. a place where he can live in a house he helped build, with people who not only want him there but know how to act around him when he is. it's... peaceful. it's everything he's never stood a chance of having.
if one day he returns to finland and finds that his gods know the betrayal he's wrought, so be it.
lalli shifts, and emil might catch a bit of rustling and the faint scrape of shoe sole on bark. he's sitting down instead of perching, legs crosslegged as best they can be, back against the trunk of the tree. ❱ Maybe they'll figure out how to send us back. ❰ if emil misses it so much. ❱
( The noise is somewhat peaceful, relaxing. Not that he needed proof or reassurance that Lalli was present somewhere -- the stream is more than enough -- but it's just an extra sense of awareness. )
I...that would be hard. I mean, I basically built a house. Wouldn't want to just leave it. ( The investment and effort he's put into existing in this place would be hard to give up so easily, as stupid as part of him feels to think that. It's true. There's no rash illness, no trolls to worry about burning or killing. There's magic everywhere, that offers many mysteries but also many wonders.
There's also a certain indulgence about being here that he's more open to acknowledging, in that what Asgard has done for his relationship with Lalli is pretty miraculous. Erasing the language barrier alone is certainly a blessing, but it eliminate a lot of tough questions and scenarios that might have cropped up. Situations that he's glad he doesn't have to worry about. )
I guess...well. This means you wouldn't judge me if I said maybe I wouldn't want that? To go home. ( Which might have been as tough to say as other thoughts he's keeping close to the vest right now. )
❰ now emil's backpedaling, and something almost pleased hums silently in lalli's chest. warms him against the chill of the encroaching evening, up here where the tree canopy is no protection from the sharp breeze. ❱
No, ❰ is the entirety of his answer, though a bit of that warmth has crept into his tone. ❱
( It's a duality he can't abandon so easily -- or maybe he just did. It's not like his family, his job and his country aren't big aspects of himself that he can let go easily, but as more time comes between those things and his sense of person...the less personal they actually become. The things that are connected to himself -- his relationships, his home -- can all be found in Asgard.
The momentum of such an admittance makes it impossible for his mouth to stay closed, though that's not exactly out of character for Emil to begin with. )
Good. I was kind of concerned you wouldn't agree and think it's strange. There's just a lot I don't think I can give up now. The house, obviously -- I've gotten too many splinters to just abandon this thing. ( He rolls to stare up at it, eyes and rambling now directed at the ceiling, which is also where the feed is now aimed. A ceiling he helped put there, at that. ) Can't complain about the magic, either. I can talk to you like this, you're here. Things like that make it hard to want to leave.
❰ and it's true, all of it. they put a lot of work into this house, to just abandon it. the magic isn't as good as his magic back home, not by a long shot, but emil has magic here too and that's a trade-off lalli's willing to settle for. the shared language is definitely not the worst thing in the world, either. lalli's reached a point where he almost can't quite fathom returning to a life in which they can't do something so simple as speak to one another.
lalli hums in contemplative agreement. his verdict? ❱
( It's something that he's reflected on already, but he nods, agreeing even if Lalli isn't focusing on his screen. )
Outside of that dragon, it's been uneventful in that regard. ( The vigor he'd felt for the good ol' military lifestyle had begun to wane after the expedition, with no real instance for it to ever spring back to life. A lot of his feelings felt dulled after the excruciating experience...maybe that kind of passion had simmered, implanted itself into house construction, meaning another life path had been forsaken. Not that Asgard gave him much choice. )
It's not the most exciting of places, but I don't mind. There's something to the domestic style of living. I've had my fill of danger for now. ( Lalli has a skill that can translate almost anywhere, and Asgard offers such a vast world for him to roam. Emil can set anything on fire, but that hasn't proved so useful or present at the front of his mind lately. ) Though after the house is finished, I don't know what to do next. Most of my day goes into it, so that's a lot of free time.
❰ there's a bit of a pause, in which he's shifting positions again. now lalli's draped on his stomach along the tree branch, chin on his folded arm. the camera's still pointed out over the view, of course. that's much more interesting than the face emil sees every single day.
then, ❱ Could teach you to scout. You wouldn't be awful at it. ❰ it's a far cry from his age-old stance of 'emil is irreconcilably clumsy in the outdoors and couldn't possibly learn to walk even remotely quietly enough to scout properly', for certain. ❱
( So used to being the designated bag man, Emil shifts upward slightly at the invitation. He wouldn't say it if it wasn't a real prospect, and the phrasing of "you wouldn't be awful at it" is high praise coming from Lalli. )
Really? I wouldn't mind. Like I said, I'm curious about what's out there, in small doses. Don't know if I could ever work up to days long walks again.
( As far as he's concerned, he's put in his time on that one. )
❰ he wouldn't mind, in small doses. not the answer lalli hoped for, but it's not entirely unexpected. maybe he might have legitimately looked forward to the concept of emil actually being able to come along instead of being left at home, but the swede was the one being dragged out of his element for it. it's up to him to decide if he cares that much about being left behind. ❱
Guess we'll see, ❰ lalli says, tone fairly neutral. he doesn't dislike scouting alone, after all. ❱
( Maybe he'll take to it eventually, even throw in an overnight journey here and there. It wouldn't be the first time he adapted to something for this pointy Finn. )
Yeah, guess so. ( With a hefty sigh, Emil blinks wearily at the sun setting on Asgard, aware that he was going to do something before he got comfortable in bed. The tired tone to his voice is already sinking in, with the soft movement of the feed not helping matters. ) I was supposed to go back to your old place tonight, but that's not happening now. Hopefully Honir can take care of the electricity soon...water.
( Despite his desire to be awake, Emil is, indeed, fading fast. )
❰ he knows emil well enough by now to recognize the stage immediately pre-crashing, even across a clumsy video feed. so, ❱ He will, ❰ he says, shortly followed by, ❱ You should sleep.
( This is met with a halfhearted whine, petulant until the bitter end. )
It's still so early. Not even that dark out yet. ( It's half muffled into his pillow, actions betraying his whiny words. After a few more seconds and a sigh, Emil gives in. ) Send me a message in the morning, will you?
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I can't imagine how you run all that way. Pretty amazing. ( In a show of the exact opposite of that stamina, his arm gives in and flops to his side, showcasing the ceiling instead of his face. ) I wonder if there's something out there that's not woods, eventually. Some ocean maybe. There has to be eventually, right?
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It would be nice, just to see or hear the Atlantic again. )
Lalli. Do you ever think about being back in our-- ( Universe? Dimension? The world of the living? He still doesn't know how to articulate what verbiage best qualifies. ) Well, Finland? Home?
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then, casual as anything, he admits: ❱
No.
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Either way, or perhaps there's another reason, it piques Emil's curiosity. And yet, he searches for his own answer, and finds that he has a similar sentiment. )
I miss my family from time to time. I miss...Sweden. ( More like the concept of nationalism, familiar language spoken wherever he goes. The more he thinks about it, the more that a lot of qualifiers feel like they apply to where he is right now: a grounded feeling of being home, a knowledge that he has a purpose for being there. ) I didn't expect to feel so comfortable here. The house helps, I suppose, but...I don't know. It gets easier to think about it all the longer we've stayed here.
( He stretches his neck, leaning more into the pillow he's half-laying on. With that line of thinking, maybe one day he'll just acclimate to Asgard altogether. It flusters him, momentarily, to think about that big of a change. )
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but they've found a place that the rash isn't. a place with walking gods that draw people back from the dead and let them live and be happy. a place where he can live in a house he helped build, with people who not only want him there but know how to act around him when he is. it's... peaceful. it's everything he's never stood a chance of having.
if one day he returns to finland and finds that his gods know the betrayal he's wrought, so be it.
lalli shifts, and emil might catch a bit of rustling and the faint scrape of shoe sole on bark. he's sitting down instead of perching, legs crosslegged as best they can be, back against the trunk of the tree. ❱ Maybe they'll figure out how to send us back. ❰ if emil misses it so much. ❱
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I...that would be hard. I mean, I basically built a house. Wouldn't want to just leave it. ( The investment and effort he's put into existing in this place would be hard to give up so easily, as stupid as part of him feels to think that. It's true. There's no rash illness, no trolls to worry about burning or killing. There's magic everywhere, that offers many mysteries but also many wonders.
There's also a certain indulgence about being here that he's more open to acknowledging, in that what Asgard has done for his relationship with Lalli is pretty miraculous. Erasing the language barrier alone is certainly a blessing, but it eliminate a lot of tough questions and scenarios that might have cropped up. Situations that he's glad he doesn't have to worry about. )
I guess...well. This means you wouldn't judge me if I said maybe I wouldn't want that? To go home. ( Which might have been as tough to say as other thoughts he's keeping close to the vest right now. )
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No, ❰ is the entirety of his answer, though a bit of that warmth has crept into his tone. ❱
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The momentum of such an admittance makes it impossible for his mouth to stay closed, though that's not exactly out of character for Emil to begin with. )
Good. I was kind of concerned you wouldn't agree and think it's strange. There's just a lot I don't think I can give up now. The house, obviously -- I've gotten too many splinters to just abandon this thing. ( He rolls to stare up at it, eyes and rambling now directed at the ceiling, which is also where the feed is now aimed. A ceiling he helped put there, at that. ) Can't complain about the magic, either. I can talk to you like this, you're here. Things like that make it hard to want to leave.
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lalli hums in contemplative agreement. his verdict? ❱
We're safer here.
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Outside of that dragon, it's been uneventful in that regard. ( The vigor he'd felt for the good ol' military lifestyle had begun to wane after the expedition, with no real instance for it to ever spring back to life. A lot of his feelings felt dulled after the excruciating experience...maybe that kind of passion had simmered, implanted itself into house construction, meaning another life path had been forsaken. Not that Asgard gave him much choice. )
It's not the most exciting of places, but I don't mind. There's something to the domestic style of living. I've had my fill of danger for now. ( Lalli has a skill that can translate almost anywhere, and Asgard offers such a vast world for him to roam. Emil can set anything on fire, but that hasn't proved so useful or present at the front of his mind lately. ) Though after the house is finished, I don't know what to do next. Most of my day goes into it, so that's a lot of free time.
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then, ❱ Could teach you to scout. You wouldn't be awful at it. ❰ it's a far cry from his age-old stance of 'emil is irreconcilably clumsy in the outdoors and couldn't possibly learn to walk even remotely quietly enough to scout properly', for certain. ❱
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Really? I wouldn't mind. Like I said, I'm curious about what's out there, in small doses. Don't know if I could ever work up to days long walks again.
( As far as he's concerned, he's put in his time on that one. )
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Guess we'll see, ❰ lalli says, tone fairly neutral. he doesn't dislike scouting alone, after all. ❱
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Yeah, guess so. ( With a hefty sigh, Emil blinks wearily at the sun setting on Asgard, aware that he was going to do something before he got comfortable in bed. The tired tone to his voice is already sinking in, with the soft movement of the feed not helping matters. ) I was supposed to go back to your old place tonight, but that's not happening now. Hopefully Honir can take care of the electricity soon...water.
( Despite his desire to be awake, Emil is, indeed, fading fast. )
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It's still so early. Not even that dark out yet. ( It's half muffled into his pillow, actions betraying his whiny words. After a few more seconds and a sigh, Emil gives in. ) Send me a message in the morning, will you?
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