spellbinders IC INBOX

[enflame]

Comments

[talim]

Because he more or less told me. Multiple times.

I have no idea how to get through to him. I never meant to upset him...

[enflame]

I won't say he's not frustratingly difficult at times. ( You saw the leg thing lmao... ) But that's part of who he is. He's not a bad guy...far from it! Just different compared to most people.

What happened to get him so worked up, anyway?

[talim]

I never said he was a bad guy. Promise. That's not what I think at all. It's just...

He repeatedly insists that I'm talking down to him; that I don't understand him, and that I'm not trying to. He's offended when I offer him advice, despite me being under the impression that he's seeking it out.

And he gets particularly touchy when your name comes up.

[enflame]

( Emil has...no idea why Lalli would be touchy about him, that's bizarre. The other points of interest he has more experience with. )

Oh... I can't say that I can fully explain all of that, but it's not abnormal. The best thing to do is listen more than you give advice. Especially since he doesn't know you.

( It's not that he's against arguing with Lalli or being cross with him when he deserves it, but the slightest implication that he doesn't know what he's doing or is in the wrong -- "I'm not stupid" -- it's not wholly productive. )

I don't think I've seen him ask for advice at all before, so he's probably not doing that. ( They've had a few discussions and Emil's explained viewpoints to him, but outright asking for advice...that's just not how Lalli operates. )

[talim]

There's a good chance I misinterpreted him, then. And that's on me.

I'll do what I can and listen. It'd be nice if we could be friends.

[enflame]

I also don't know what actually happened either time, so that's my best guess. Did you talk to him about something specific that maybe made him more upset than usual?

( He's not totally clueless -- Emil can think of a few unintentional triggers that Jude wouldn't know about, although whether or not those came up are a mystery. )

[talim]

I told him to stop giving you such a hard time, because you weren't trying to upset him. He told me to stop assuming things.

[enflame]

( Well that's not specifically a trigger he knows of.

Oh Christ )

Is this about his leg? ( Jude.........don't judge him. )

[talim]

That's how the conversation started, yeah.

[enflame]

( Jeeze...if that was one of Jude's first or second impressions of Lalli, he's surprised his read of him isn't even more strange. Leg discourse! )

I think that's just because he wasn't. He...took that more seriously than I anticipated. ( In fairness, they both got strangely heated about his hypothetical thigh gap. Lalli doesn't usually ask strangers to grope him, though, he......swears. ) Thanks for defending me though?

( If they'd had this discussion at the time, Emil would be much more impassioned about how he was right and this was ridiculous, but he can't stay frustrated at Lalli for longer than a day or two at most.

Lalli's psyche is, for the most part, lost on Emil. But there are certain patterns he's aware of: ) Usually when I say something like that to him, he assumes I think he's stupid or that he's incapable. It's something he's touchy about. He doesn't like to think he's messing up somehow.

[talim]

That's the core of the problem. Every time we talk, he seems to think I'm implying that I'm above him.

I've reminded him how much you care about him, and even that's set him off. He's insisted I don't know anything about how you feel.

Maybe I don't, but...

[ well. jude has known emil for a good while, now, and he can take a guess. ]

[enflame]

Is there a reason you're doing that?

( Like...is Lalli somehow giving him the impression that he doesn't care about him? Where is this weird misunderstanding coming from?? Why is this so complicated?? )

I mean I do, but he knows that. I thought he did, anyway.

[talim]

He was upset that you were concerned about his weight, so I reminded him that you were only worried because you care about him. It wasn't a huge deal.

[enflame]

Oh. We talked about it, it's alright. Basically, he thought that because I was off-handedly concerned, I thought he was incapable of taking care of himself -- well, there's more, but that's the gist of what you were talking about.

Lalli is...different. I can't explain why in some ways, but he just is. I guess you just have to know how to talk to him.

[talim]

I can see that.

But hopefully I'll learn, right? I'm not the type to give up on people that easily.

[enflame]

I hope so. ( The idea of someone giving up on Lalli makes his stomach turn wearily, and it's not something he deserves in the slightest. )

I want Lalli to have more friends...is it bad to want that if it's not what he wants?

[talim]

No, I don't think it's a bad thing at all. You want what's best for him, even if he doesn't realize that himself.

[enflame]

( Emil wants Lalli to have nice things. Jude is a nice person. This should be simple!!! How can he connect Idea A to Solution B. )

Oh! Jude -- your world has spirits and the like, right? Lalli's a mage, so he's interested in things like that! You can talk about all that magical jargon I have no idea about.

[talim]

Do you really think that'd do the trick?

I mean, I can see how I can bring it up next time we bump into each other...

[enflame]

I don't know if that will do the trick -- but if you talk about something you have mutual experience in, and it's what he's best at, then that shouldn't have anything to do with talking down to him.

[talim]

You're right. I'll see what I can do, then.

And I'll report back with results!