( Look, he's opening it...if you want some, you can have some!! The breakfast of champions.
The fact that Lalli gave it to him is touching, though he only thinks so because it's a gift in general. The heart doesn't really click anything to him. )
Akira...? ( Just because he can't honestly think of anyone else, but Akira does tease him. ) I don't know -- I didn't expect it to be you, I guess.
( Before any cake accidents happen, he snatches up Lisko to curl them in his arms. ) Thank you. It's a nice gift.
[Ugh, look at him... Lalli heaves a great sigh and leans down to take Lisko, sitting them in his lap and hissing a curt command to sit still and be good. That problem taken care of, he...tries to move on to this next one.
It was so much harder.]
...So he has no business sending things like his heart to other young men.
( Emil's in the middle of pondering how you cut a cake shaped like a heart when he looks up at Lalli, somehwat dumbfounded.
Ah. This is interesting. )
No...would you want one? ( This is like...really bizarre information that's not even ACTUALLY information. Lalli having a boyfriend, even in the hypothetical is like...there are a lot of reasons that's leaving him awestruck. )
This was a mistake. This was a terrible mistake, because Emil is clearly never going to think about him that way --and would could blame him? Who would look at such a temperamental twig of a man, who was hardly more than an animal in the eyes of some, and think... Think...]
( Lalli dodges that question -- no, it hits him. He hits him, he catches it, he drops it. Why? Emil has no idea. but his friend came in upset, and he certainly doesnt want him to leave that way.
Pressing it, when he flung it away so astutely, doesn't seem like the right thing to do. )
Walnut, huh? I don't know if that's better or worse than stupid. ( This sudden obsession with walnuts is certainly strange. ) Anyway, it'll be all mine then. Do you hear that, Lisko?
( Despite his efforts to move on, there's a hollow quality to his voice. His nerves suddenly feel jittery; he's not used to handling anxiety head on outside of the field. )
[Come on, Lisko, you can have hugs instead of cake. That's all the positivity he can manage, right about now, and even then, it's about being selfish.]
They don't know that -- they get into everything of mine, no matter what.
( He would have shared if Lalli hadn't been insistent it was his. Now...not so much.
Actually, he's not even sure he can eat this right now. His stomach twists a little, only obviously upset to him right now. )
I should probably eat something that isn't cake, first. ( Uncharacteristically suddenly absorbed in his health, Emil puts down his retrieved knife and looks at his cake solemnly.
Sorry to any roommates coming and going who get a glimpse of this gay melodrama. )
[Lalli is floored. Is he so inconsiderate, or is he just an idiot?]
If you really don't want it, don't eat it! It's not like eating it or not eating it is going to change anything. I'll just leave. Make it easier for you.
[Aaand Yep, he's moving so he can find a way to safely hop down with Lisko still cradled against him. What a waste of cake and love.]
( Being grouchy that Emil didn't wake up to greet him...acceptable. Not understanding Lalli got him this gift and thus invoking a pissy attitude? Fine. This sort of Lalli demeanor, however, feels like more than just being peevish. As far as he knows, he said something more rude at Lalli's birthday party and all that happened then was some sass. )
Why are you so grumpy today? You don't have to leave! ( He'll eat, he'll eat, okay? He's cutting into it now, slicing a little more forcefully than he realizes. )
[He really doesn't get it. He doesnt get it, and Lalli doesn't really know why he expected otherwise. Why would he ever hope to get close to someone again?
He tried to fight it off. Everything was scary, and sure to sure, so he'd done his best to keep to himself. When he realized his heart beat harder around Emil, that he felt safer, that it was getting easier to smile...
The other people here didn't have this problem. They were normal, not broken like Lalli was. Not only had Emil not understood it was him that he was interested in, he had sounded dumbfounded that Lalli would even think about such a thing... And why shouldn't he? When Lalli was how he was... He bites hard at the inside of his cheek, like the pain in his chest isn't enough and that's going to encourage him not to make this same mistake again.]
No. I'm...tired. I'm going to go walk for a while.
( All of those small pricks of anxiety become sharp and piercing all of a sudden. It's rare, but if Lalli left right now, Emil wouldn't mind -- he doesn't know how to feel. He doesn't get what's really happening, though he thinks maybe he should. This was so quick and charged for some reason, he has to think about why. He doesn't want to, but that pressing knot in his throat and the magic he can feel literally heating his body...he has to.
"I'm not fighting," Lalli had said. This feels like fighting -- no, this feels worse. )
Do what you need to do. ( He can't help but think he's glad for sleep. He just took a nap, but he can surely take another. Lisko looks from Lalli, who they're clawing at to be held again, to Emil who slumps against the counter now, not making eye contact with anything but the floor. ) See you later.
[It's less fighting and more...flailing. Treading water because he's close to giving up. He looks down to Lisko, who isn't the source of all this pain, and...well...
Cautiously scooping them up, he sends a gentle pulse along the telepathic connection to Emil.]
I... Bye. I'll bring them back later.
[He'll have some lizardy hugs while he wonders why he doesn't cry if he feels so much like he could.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
The fact that Lalli gave it to him is touching, though he only thinks so because it's a gift in general. The heart doesn't really click anything to him. )
Akira...? ( Just because he can't honestly think of anyone else, but Akira does tease him. ) I don't know -- I didn't expect it to be you, I guess.
( Before any cake accidents happen, he snatches up Lisko to curl them in his arms. ) Thank you. It's a nice gift.
no subject
Akira has a boyfriend.
no subject
Yes. He does. ( Looking at Lalli mysteriously. He told you, remember???? )
no subject
It was so much harder.]
...So he has no business sending things like his heart to other young men.
no subject
I didn't mean it like that! He just teases me, that's all. ( Not that he would say no to a heart cake from Akira...he wouldn't say no to any cake. )
Do you want some? ( For something less awkward to talk about for a second. )
no subject
No. It's yours. I got it for you. [...] Because I do not have a boyfriend. I can still give my heart to who I want.
no subject
Ah. This is interesting. )
No...would you want one? ( This is like...really bizarre information that's not even ACTUALLY information. Lalli having a boyfriend, even in the hypothetical is like...there are a lot of reasons that's leaving him awestruck. )
no subject
[It's quiet, but it's managed to be said aloud.
This was a mistake. This was a terrible mistake, because Emil is clearly never going to think about him that way --and would could blame him? Who would look at such a temperamental twig of a man, who was hardly more than an animal in the eyes of some, and think... Think...]
Forget it. It's not...important.
[Emil being happy would be enough for him.]
no subject
Pressing it, when he flung it away so astutely, doesn't seem like the right thing to do. )
Walnut, huh? I don't know if that's better or worse than stupid. ( This sudden obsession with walnuts is certainly strange. ) Anyway, it'll be all mine then. Do you hear that, Lisko?
( Despite his efforts to move on, there's a hollow quality to his voice. His nerves suddenly feel jittery; he's not used to handling anxiety head on outside of the field. )
no subject
[Come on, Lisko, you can have hugs instead of cake. That's all the positivity he can manage, right about now, and even then, it's about being selfish.]
It was meant to be yours. That's not a threat.
no subject
( He would have shared if Lalli hadn't been insistent it was his. Now...not so much.
Actually, he's not even sure he can eat this right now. His stomach twists a little, only obviously upset to him right now. )
I should probably eat something that isn't cake, first. ( Uncharacteristically suddenly absorbed in his health, Emil puts down his retrieved knife and looks at his cake solemnly.
Sorry to any roommates coming and going who get a glimpse of this gay melodrama. )
no subject
If you really don't want it, don't eat it! It's not like eating it or not eating it is going to change anything. I'll just leave. Make it easier for you.
[Aaand Yep, he's moving so he can find a way to safely hop down with Lisko still cradled against him. What a waste of cake and love.]
no subject
( Being grouchy that Emil didn't wake up to greet him...acceptable. Not understanding Lalli got him this gift and thus invoking a pissy attitude? Fine. This sort of Lalli demeanor, however, feels like more than just being peevish. As far as he knows, he said something more rude at Lalli's birthday party and all that happened then was some sass. )
Why are you so grumpy today? You don't have to leave! ( He'll eat, he'll eat, okay? He's cutting into it now, slicing a little more forcefully than he realizes. )
no subject
He tried to fight it off. Everything was scary, and sure to sure, so he'd done his best to keep to himself. When he realized his heart beat harder around Emil, that he felt safer, that it was getting easier to smile...
The other people here didn't have this problem. They were normal, not broken like Lalli was. Not only had Emil not understood it was him that he was interested in, he had sounded dumbfounded that Lalli would even think about such a thing... And why shouldn't he? When Lalli was how he was... He bites hard at the inside of his cheek, like the pain in his chest isn't enough and that's going to encourage him not to make this same mistake again.]
No. I'm...tired. I'm going to go walk for a while.
no subject
"I'm not fighting," Lalli had said. This feels like fighting -- no, this feels worse. )
Do what you need to do. ( He can't help but think he's glad for sleep. He just took a nap, but he can surely take another. Lisko looks from Lalli, who they're clawing at to be held again, to Emil who slumps against the counter now, not making eye contact with anything but the floor. ) See you later.
no subject
Cautiously scooping them up, he sends a gentle pulse along the telepathic connection to Emil.]
I... Bye. I'll bring them back later.
[He'll have some lizardy hugs while he wonders why he doesn't cry if he feels so much like he could.
Leaving Emil all alone. With his cake.]