( This isn't a lie necessarily. He did eat -- soup broth and an unidentifiable vegetable that, based on how it tasted, he's pretty sure was poisonous. Between those and the crackers, though, he's certainly not full. Especially after being soured by that horrid gourd.
Emil rolls again, missing the softly spoken statement and completely content to continue observing Lalli, agitated and fidgety though he may be. )
You don't have to eat them, but if you're hungry and you have food it can't hurt. ( Spoken like a kid who's had three square meals a day most of his life. Emil likes sharing this joy with you, Lalli. Let him... )
[His fidgeting stops a moment, and then he glances up to meet Emil's gaze once more. Nnnnh...
Slowly, he reaches out to take it. It wasn't sweet, and it wouldn't satisfy him, and his stomach would protest at how much he was eating later, but -- but Emil was trying. He should try, too.]
...Emil. If I start to...be less me. And I don't go back. [If he changes, becomes one of them, is stuck dragging himself across floors and skittering on walls while only thinking of pain and his next meal.] Will you do it?
[that awkward moment when your best friend asks you about assisted suicide]
( ...That's literally not what could ever cross his mind when Lalli asks that question. Which is why he nonchalantly tilts his head, blinking in confusion. )
Mm? Do what?
( Water your plants? Help blow your troll nose? File your taxes? Emil isn't convinced Lalli is going to turn into some werecat creature. He's concerned about the flu but not that he'd ever have to kill him. )
[Theres a harder edge to his tone, now. There was no guarantee that his worst fears would come to pass, but it wasn't like there was no basis for it. He knew the signs. They'd been drilled into him since before he could comprehend their real meaning, the cost of living in an area where a group of people could be swept away before you knew it. Even the people he lived with. Emil's response made it seem like he wasn't taking this seriously at all, and it made the easy anger from the bites flare up again.]
You said you know when you have to kill something. Can you do it?
( The realization of what Lalli means hits him after he says the word "kill" and his eyes go wide and his face freezes. The question after that doesn't register, but a crushing weight on his chest does. Holy shit. Holy shit.
Even in the case of there being real infection going around in the silent world, Emil never considered a teammate actually being affected. The possibility was present, that's what decontamination procedures are for, no matter how pedantic and boring they may be...but that applied to freaks like Reynir or to Tuuri. To think of Lalli infected to the point of change was impossible, and so it was never even a "what if" scenario to play around with in his mind. )
What? No...! No, I-- No! ( He trails off, unable to find the ability to reiterate the words, even in a rejection. Emil has trouble mercy killing a dog, how in the hell is he supposed to help kill his best friend? Emil sits up, breaking eye contact in an attempt to let it sink in, almost immediately in a panic. Not only is he thinking about the idea of killing Lalli, even if he doesn't look like Lalli, but the idea that Lalli just asked him himself. )
( Emil doesn't immediately lay back down, but instead speaks from where he's sitting. It's been about a minute since he sat up. He starts once but then shifts his makeshift sanitary mask to make sure Lalli can hear him. )
Is that what you want me to do? If that ever happens? ( His voice is softer, shaken and much more timid. Because if Lalli wants him to, then... )
[He sucks in a hard breath at that refusal, squeezing his eyes shut and wishing that cutting off other things could be as easy at that. But then Emil's speaking again, and the churning in his gut rolls into a new direction.
Carefully, Lalli crawls out from his nest, the scratchy blanket Emil brought with him the only one that he pulls around himself. He tries not to tremble as he reaches out, brushing some hair away from Emil's face. Gentle. Reassuring.]
I don't want to be...not me. Don't let me. ...Please.
( He's startled by Lalli's sudden appearance, and even more so by his sudden contact, especially considering his assurance that if Emil even breathed the same air as him he'd be dead within a day. Emil wasn't questioning Lalli's seriousness before, but this obvious sign of commitment to the idea makes his stomach turn more than flutter. )
I...can't. ( Emil starts to look away, feeling so ill suddenly and not wanting to make eye contact for fear of reacting very, very badly -- but no, he instead looks like at Lalli and finishes as best he can. )
I can't promise you but. I can try if that's what you want. ( Usually he'd say find it in him to say yes as best as possible. He can't commit to 'yes' on this. )
[It hurts. He wishes it didn't hurt. He wishes he understood just why it did. Maybe it was the realization yet again that Emil had no idea how bad things were, and the mere fact that Lalli was asking this of him meant that Lalli was failing at protecting him. Maybe it was just that it made it seem like Emil didn't trust in him to know what was best. That would be silly. Lalli knew about the dog, knew how hard it was for Emil to march out there to this creature whining in pain and giving itself up, and plunge his knife in, even with how hideous and wrecked it was. It was a monster. Lalli was a person. A friend.
It scares him that he thinks how it would be a lot easier for him to do it. He could. He's sure of it, even if it was Emil, or Tuuri. He would have to. Right?
...He doesn't want to think about it anymore.]
Okay. [He voice is quiet, and his throat feels dry and scratchy. His hand falls, and his eyelids follow suit while he leans against the side of the mattress and shivers.] ...Okay.
[He traces the rim of the tin, then cracks it open and sets it between them so they can share the crackers. He's too tired to crawl back to bed, as ridiculous as that is.]
( Emil suddenly finds it too exhausting to think about it much any more. It's a little weird to think that something he was sure wasn't much more than a flea bitten nuisance (post-bite feelings, anyway) is suddenly something so devastating. Right now he can't say that cats really are fiendish creatures.
Some might think it would be normal for him to be wary of all things of this nature, but he's still not good at putting dots together and facing harsh realities. Emil has learned to trust others -- to trust Lalli -- and it's a hard pill to swallow still that he's not the gung ho hero he thought he would be.
Emil watches Lalli slumping, shivering and goes to make sure his blanket is tucked in and secure to stave off the cold. He also fixes his hair, grazing one of Lalli's lynx ears and suddenly becomes aware of how cold the thin flesh is.
The hand stays there for a moment before it recedes. He considers the cracker tin for a second but again retracts his hand. As hungry as he is, the thought of putting something on his stomach is the worse fate. )
Do you need help? ( Emil switches mental gears. He's not convinced that under the bed is better but if that's where Lalli is more comfortable, this is an argument he'll again put a pin in.
...or maybe more all of his blankets up top and hope he accepts beds are indeed the greatest invention ever made. )
[His ear flicks automatically at the contact, and for a moment Lalli is torn between smacking Emil away and giving in to the impulse to deepen the contact. Instead of either of those, he just...watches, eyes cracked open to slits so he can silently ask what the heck he's doing. His blankets...]
( There's the old Lalli he knows. Just like the good ol' days. Emil just barely avoids the path of his weakly flailing limb. Wasn't he supposed to avoid this kind of thing.
( no go back to not using your words ) Too much...?
( Despite Lalli's RUDENESS, Emil will forgive him because...it's been a long day. And because he's Lalli but whatever. )
Sure...err. ( It takes him a second to try and shake off the heavy, lingering negativity to try and find something to chatter about. ) Things have been going okay. I've met some decent people... I might have a job soon, and it's not a droll manual labor position eith--
( He cuts himself short, suddenly aware maybe talking about Merriwynne in positive contexts is insensitive. ) Or if you want to talk about home stuff, I can do that too.
[His eyes shut again and his breathing slows, but Lalli's ears are alert and adjusting with each dip and wave of Emil's voice. The cadence was familiar. It was something he'd long since gotten used to, during their time in Denmark and the couple days before. Understanding every word was still new. Wonderful.
He hums when Emil pauses, and shifts to bury his face fully into the mattress.]
It's okay. I just like your voice.
[So talking "too much" wasn't actually a problem, just a fact.]
People here are weird. But not so mean I think. Did...you make friends?
[He feels like Onni, now, genuinely curious over this little thing and kind of fretting over it. Not entirely in a good way, either. There's a clawing creature-shaped thing in his gut getting agitated over the thought of Emil finding better, more normal friends and dropping him like a sack of potatoes, and with how sick he already feels he's not inclined to do much about it. But on the other hand, if someone was being mean to Emil, then he might have to do something about that. If he didn't, you know, die.]
( Emil gets comfortable, folding his hands into the sweater-turned-mask-turned-muff. )
I don't think friends. I haven't known anyone that long. But so far they're nice. ( He can't think of anyone who's been outright rude to him yet minus Lalli. ) Maybe we can be friends one day.
( Which...Emil isn't exactly adverse to the idea, but he hasn't clicked with anyone past a very base level of politeness. Don't worry Lalli, your #1 spot isn't in danger of being threatened. )
In any case, I'm glad you're here. It'd be pretty dull otherwise. ( Which is 100% true. His dorm room is almost empty, he hasn't spoken really to the girl living there, and he's not sure what to do with himself most of the time. Lalli being there gives him a sense of purpose and comfort.
...Oh no, thinking like that circled him back to the idea having to kill him. Calm down chest tightness. Calm down heavy-breathing lungs!! )
...We didn't know each other that long when I thought -- I told Onni. That I thought you were probably my friend. Was that wrong?
[Augh, it's embarrassing to say out loud, and he squeezes his eyes shut tighter like that's going to help make these complicated feelings go away. He listens harder, lynx ears pointed, expectant. Nnnnh, that breathing wasn't great. More reminders of Onni.]
I'm not crying! ( Which is true, and jolts him out of his panic...somewhat. When he goes home, if he goes home, he'll probably have an aneurysm. Keep it together for now, Emil. )
That's...that's different.
( He thinks for a moment whether or not he can articulate why or how it's different, but it's just. Different. Some things he gets, some he doesn't. )
I mean. You saved me, after all. You saved all of us. ( Sort of sheepishly admitted. That kind of instant respect doesn't come cheap from Emil Västerström. From there...he doesn't really know, he just became so endeared. Either way, unless someone saves him from a burning building or something it's a pretty hard thing to duplicate.
Even then...well, it's hard to imagine they'd replace or surpass Lalli, dead or not. )
[It's an odd feeling, swelling with pride while at the same time being brought to the brink of devastation. That's right... He'd saved them. He couldn't always do it now, but he'd protected Emil, and Tuuri, and that weird lady he was apparently related to, and a whole bunch of other people on the train. He missed being that good. Worse yet...]
Is that...why you're nice to me? Because I was useful?
( HE TRIED TO BE NICE AND HONEST AND THAT BACKFIRED SO BAD. Even Emil knows that's not a good response, abort abort abort. )
What? No! I mean, that's not the only reason! ( Truth be told, "useful" wasn't even the first word he'd use to describe the situation. It's not inaccurate by any means, but it's kind of...impersonal? If someone asked if Lalli was useful, he'd of course say yes...but not before selling him up a little more than just useful.
The situation in question was more "heroic." "Amazing." "Incredible." He may have mentioned one of these adjectives when telling Tuuri about the incident after the fact. )
It's more than that, okay. ( It's just hard exactly to put into words. Why exactly does he like this somewhat rude guy he can't understand (well, up until this place) that likes to hiss and PLAY WITH ANIMAL BONES!!! and dump food on him and get mad at him for no reason whatsoever? Idk, he just does.
Maybe it's because he does respect Lalli and his vulnerability and likes when Lalli tries, even if Other People Don't Seem To Care Much and that Irritates Him, and also he has nice hair when he tries to take care of it...but like, you can't just say that. Can you??
Nope. Which is why he not-so-slyly turns the tables because if he remembers correctly, Lalli mentioned telling Onni that he was his friend so!!! )
Why are you my friend? ( Said very curiously. Let's change the subject and see how you like that!! )
[Being useful to Emil and appreciated for it would be -- is -- wonderful and everything. But he says that's not it. Or...not all of it. That Lalli misunderstood.
Good. This is all very confusing for Lalli, but...this is also one thing he doesn't mind chalking up to a miscommunication.]
Mrmn?
[Having to articulate his own reasoning when he didn't understand it fully himself was...less good.]
Um. Um. I don't know. You...were nicer to me than a lot of people. You do lots of weird things, but I don't really mind, for some reason. You... You talked to me.
[Even if he couldn't understand him, it had made Lalli feel less alone. He hadn't even thought he would feel alone to begin with, and Emil helped him. That was a very..."friends" thing.]
Felt like you were always going to be there. But not in an annoying way.
( Aha! See how it feels? Although, Emil wasn't expecting something so...eloquent. Kind of pathetic Lalli can say more about it than he can.
Also: weird things? Rich coming from this guy, but Emil still pauses a moment, wide eyed to rapidly go through their social link catalog. How was he the weird one?
Oh well. He can't be offended when he's so satisfied, as evident by the smile on his face, thankfully obscured by his lame faux safety mask. It's not like he doesn't already know some of this, but he'll be damned if it doesn't make him happy any time Lalli talks about it...but it's especially bittersweet after the previous conversation. )
You're not wrong. ( He says before remembering the aforementioned sweater mask and tying it back onto his face (but of course not before fixing his hair and ears). Emil knew to take this seriously after Lalli asked him The Question, but to hear him say he thought Emil would always be there for him. He has to prove that, doesn't he? )
Don't worry about it anymore. Just rest. ( Watching after Lalli might have been an assigned task at times, but it wasn't, and isn't, a job. )
[Sometimes it pays to overthink things. He had a jumble of words semi-ready. And then that earns him another sweet smile like that... That smile, all for him, just for him. Truly, Lalli is the luckiest man on earth.]
...Okay.
[He really is...so tired... Stifling a yawn into his hand, Lalli wriggles his way back under the bed and curls up. Just having Emil around has relaxed him enough that the wild irritation and bitterness on his face has smoothed out into something resembling a peaceful expression.]
( Sleeping is something he is most definitely not going to do...at least, that's not the plan. Emil's a little too emotionally frazzled to sleep well anyway, considering the whole reason he's supposed to be awake is to watch Lalli and maybe murder him if he starts growing wings or frothing at the mouth or something.
...Wow he really hopes mouth foam isn't a side effect of other weird mage shit or Lalli's in trouble.
The fact remains that Lalli could be mutating or dying or something underneath him somewhere in that little nest of his, and he hopes he hears it if it's going to happen. Brushing what crumbs might be potentially on top of the mattress off onto the floor, he too lays down with his head relatively close to where Lalli is, hoping to hear any commotion -- be it simple stirring or anguished screams.
It's hard to tell how long it does take him to fitfully fall asleep, but it does happen eventually; being emotionally tired does take a toll on you. Sorry your protector wasn't as diligent as you would have liked Lalli.
Just wait until these kiddos realize this was all for naught. )
[The good news is, he wakes up. Wakes up feeling great, in fact, when he compares it to just hours before. The bad news is, he spent so much time asleep yesterday that it's now an ungodly hour for a night scout to be awake, and his loyal sentry fell asleep on the job.
...Well, he supposes he can't really blame him. He still will, real lowkey, but he's alive. Better yet, he's himself. And Emil's okay, too. That's good. Really good.]
Hn...
[But gosh, what is he supposed to do now? He considers leaving and going about his business, but there's the dim thought that that might freak Emil out, should he wake up. Look at that, he's getting better at this friendship thing. So remember, it's because of that friendship that Lalli spends nearly a full minute staring at Emil before gently brushing some of his bangs back into place, then push his palm not-as-gently against his cheek. Pay attention to himmmm...]
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( This isn't a lie necessarily. He did eat -- soup broth and an unidentifiable vegetable that, based on how it tasted, he's pretty sure was poisonous. Between those and the crackers, though, he's certainly not full. Especially after being soured by that horrid gourd.
Emil rolls again, missing the softly spoken statement and completely content to continue observing Lalli, agitated and fidgety though he may be. )
You don't have to eat them, but if you're hungry and you have food it can't hurt. ( Spoken like a kid who's had three square meals a day most of his life. Emil likes sharing this joy with you, Lalli. Let him... )
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Slowly, he reaches out to take it. It wasn't sweet, and it wouldn't satisfy him, and his stomach would protest at how much he was eating later, but -- but Emil was trying. He should try, too.]
...Emil. If I start to...be less me. And I don't go back. [If he changes, becomes one of them, is stuck dragging himself across floors and skittering on walls while only thinking of pain and his next meal.] Will you do it?
[that awkward moment when your best friend asks you about assisted suicide]
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Mm? Do what?
( Water your plants? Help blow your troll nose? File your taxes? Emil isn't convinced Lalli is going to turn into some werecat creature. He's concerned about the flu but not that he'd ever have to kill him. )
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[Theres a harder edge to his tone, now. There was no guarantee that his worst fears would come to pass, but it wasn't like there was no basis for it. He knew the signs. They'd been drilled into him since before he could comprehend their real meaning, the cost of living in an area where a group of people could be swept away before you knew it. Even the people he lived with. Emil's response made it seem like he wasn't taking this seriously at all, and it made the easy anger from the bites flare up again.]
You said you know when you have to kill something. Can you do it?
1/2
Even in the case of there being real infection going around in the silent world, Emil never considered a teammate actually being affected. The possibility was present, that's what decontamination procedures are for, no matter how pedantic and boring they may be...but that applied to freaks like Reynir or to Tuuri. To think of Lalli infected to the point of change was impossible, and so it was never even a "what if" scenario to play around with in his mind. )
What? No...! No, I-- No! ( He trails off, unable to find the ability to reiterate the words, even in a rejection. Emil has trouble mercy killing a dog, how in the hell is he supposed to help kill his best friend? Emil sits up, breaking eye contact in an attempt to let it sink in, almost immediately in a panic. Not only is he thinking about the idea of killing Lalli, even if he doesn't look like Lalli, but the idea that Lalli just asked him himself. )
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Is that what you want me to do? If that ever happens? ( His voice is softer, shaken and much more timid. Because if Lalli wants him to, then... )
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Carefully, Lalli crawls out from his nest, the scratchy blanket Emil brought with him the only one that he pulls around himself. He tries not to tremble as he reaches out, brushing some hair away from Emil's face. Gentle. Reassuring.]
I don't want to be...not me. Don't let me. ...Please.
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I...can't. ( Emil starts to look away, feeling so ill suddenly and not wanting to make eye contact for fear of reacting very, very badly -- but no, he instead looks like at Lalli and finishes as best he can. )
I can't promise you but. I can try if that's what you want. ( Usually he'd say find it in him to say yes as best as possible. He can't commit to 'yes' on this. )
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It scares him that he thinks how it would be a lot easier for him to do it. He could. He's sure of it, even if it was Emil, or Tuuri. He would have to. Right?
...He doesn't want to think about it anymore.]
Okay. [He voice is quiet, and his throat feels dry and scratchy. His hand falls, and his eyelids follow suit while he leans against the side of the mattress and shivers.] ...Okay.
[He traces the rim of the tin, then cracks it open and sets it between them so they can share the crackers. He's too tired to crawl back to bed, as ridiculous as that is.]
...Why are cats always like this? Bad.
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( Emil suddenly finds it too exhausting to think about it much any more. It's a little weird to think that something he was sure wasn't much more than a flea bitten nuisance (post-bite feelings, anyway) is suddenly something so devastating. Right now he can't say that cats really are fiendish creatures.
Some might think it would be normal for him to be wary of all things of this nature, but he's still not good at putting dots together and facing harsh realities. Emil has learned to trust others -- to trust Lalli -- and it's a hard pill to swallow still that he's not the gung ho hero he thought he would be.
Emil watches Lalli slumping, shivering and goes to make sure his blanket is tucked in and secure to stave off the cold. He also fixes his hair, grazing one of Lalli's lynx ears and suddenly becomes aware of how cold the thin flesh is.
The hand stays there for a moment before it recedes. He considers the cracker tin for a second but again retracts his hand. As hungry as he is, the thought of putting something on his stomach is the worse fate. )
Do you need help? ( Emil switches mental gears. He's not convinced that under the bed is better but if that's where Lalli is more comfortable, this is an argument he'll again put a pin in.
...or maybe more all of his blankets up top and hope he accepts beds are indeed the greatest invention ever made. )
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Nngh...
[what if he just uselessly flailed an arm at him]
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( There's the old Lalli he knows. Just like the good ol' days. Emil just barely avoids the path of his weakly flailing limb. Wasn't he supposed to avoid this kind of thing.
Oops, his "mask" is still off too... )
If you mean "no" you can just say so!
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[use ur words........
He brings his limbs back to himself, once more weighing his options. Sounds like a hassle.]
...No. [Right? Probably.] ...Will you talk to me? Like you do. Always talking too much.
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( Despite Lalli's RUDENESS, Emil will forgive him because...it's been a long day. And because he's Lalli but whatever. )
Sure...err. ( It takes him a second to try and shake off the heavy, lingering negativity to try and find something to chatter about. ) Things have been going okay. I've met some decent people... I might have a job soon, and it's not a droll manual labor position eith--
( He cuts himself short, suddenly aware maybe talking about Merriwynne in positive contexts is insensitive. ) Or if you want to talk about home stuff, I can do that too.
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He hums when Emil pauses, and shifts to bury his face fully into the mattress.]
It's okay. I just like your voice.
[So talking "too much" wasn't actually a problem, just a fact.]
People here are weird. But not so mean I think. Did...you make friends?
[He feels like Onni, now, genuinely curious over this little thing and kind of fretting over it. Not entirely in a good way, either. There's a clawing creature-shaped thing in his gut getting agitated over the thought of Emil finding better, more normal friends and dropping him like a sack of potatoes, and with how sick he already feels he's not inclined to do much about it. But on the other hand, if someone was being mean to Emil, then he might have to do something about that. If he didn't, you know, die.]
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I don't think friends. I haven't known anyone that long. But so far they're nice. ( He can't think of anyone who's been outright rude to him yet
minus Lalli. ) Maybe we can be friends one day.( Which...Emil isn't exactly adverse to the idea, but he hasn't clicked with anyone past a very base level of politeness. Don't worry Lalli, your #1 spot isn't in danger of being threatened. )
In any case, I'm glad you're here. It'd be pretty dull otherwise. ( Which is 100% true. His dorm room is almost empty, he hasn't spoken really to the girl living there, and he's not sure what to do with himself most of the time. Lalli being there gives him a sense of purpose and comfort.
...Oh no, thinking like that circled him back to the idea having to kill him. Calm down chest tightness. Calm down heavy-breathing lungs!! )
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[Augh, it's embarrassing to say out loud, and he squeezes his eyes shut tighter like that's going to help make these complicated feelings go away. He listens harder, lynx ears pointed, expectant. Nnnnh, that breathing wasn't great. More reminders of Onni.]
Don't cry. You are okay.
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That's...that's different.
( He thinks for a moment whether or not he can articulate why or how it's different, but it's just. Different. Some things he gets, some he doesn't. )
I mean. You saved me, after all. You saved all of us. ( Sort of sheepishly admitted. That kind of instant respect doesn't come cheap from Emil Västerström. From there...he doesn't really know, he just became so endeared. Either way, unless someone saves him from a burning building or something it's a pretty hard thing to duplicate.
Even then...well, it's hard to imagine they'd replace or surpass Lalli, dead or not. )
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Is that...why you're nice to me? Because I was useful?
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What? No! I mean, that's not the only reason! ( Truth be told, "useful" wasn't even the first word he'd use to describe the situation. It's not inaccurate by any means, but it's kind of...impersonal? If someone asked if Lalli was useful, he'd of course say yes...but not before selling him up a little more than just useful.
The situation in question was more "heroic." "Amazing." "Incredible." He may have mentioned one of these adjectives when telling Tuuri about the incident after the fact. )
It's more than that, okay. ( It's just hard exactly to put into words. Why exactly does he like this somewhat rude guy he can't understand (well, up until this place) that likes to hiss and PLAY WITH ANIMAL BONES!!! and dump food on him and get mad at him for no reason whatsoever? Idk, he just does.
Maybe it's because he does respect Lalli and his vulnerability and likes when Lalli tries, even if Other People Don't Seem To Care Much and that Irritates Him, and also he has nice hair when he tries to take care of it...but like, you can't just say that. Can you??
Nope. Which is why he not-so-slyly turns the tables because if he remembers correctly, Lalli mentioned telling Onni that he was his friend so!!! )
Why are you my friend? ( Said very curiously. Let's change the subject and see how you like that!! )
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Good. This is all very confusing for Lalli, but...this is also one thing he doesn't mind chalking up to a miscommunication.]
Mrmn?
[Having to articulate his own reasoning when he didn't understand it fully himself was...less good.]
Um. Um. I don't know. You...were nicer to me than a lot of people. You do lots of weird things, but I don't really mind, for some reason. You... You talked to me.
[Even if he couldn't understand him, it had made Lalli feel less alone. He hadn't even thought he would feel alone to begin with, and Emil helped him. That was a very..."friends" thing.]
Felt like you were always going to be there. But not in an annoying way.
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Also: weird things? Rich coming from this guy, but Emil still pauses a moment, wide eyed to rapidly go through their social link catalog. How was he the weird one?
Oh well. He can't be offended when he's so satisfied, as evident by the smile on his face, thankfully obscured by his lame faux safety mask. It's not like he doesn't already know some of this, but he'll be damned if it doesn't make him happy any time Lalli talks about it...but it's especially bittersweet after the previous conversation. )
You're not wrong. ( He says before remembering the aforementioned sweater mask and tying it back onto his face (but of course not before fixing his hair and ears). Emil knew to take this seriously after Lalli asked him The Question, but to hear him say he thought Emil would always be there for him. He has to prove that, doesn't he? )
Don't worry about it anymore. Just rest. ( Watching after Lalli might have been an assigned task at times, but it wasn't, and isn't, a job. )
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...Okay.
[He really is...so tired... Stifling a yawn into his hand, Lalli wriggles his way back under the bed and curls up. Just having Emil around has relaxed him enough that the wild irritation and bitterness on his face has smoothed out into something resembling a peaceful expression.]
G'night, Emil.
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( Sleeping is something he is most definitely not going to do...at least, that's not the plan. Emil's a little too emotionally frazzled to sleep well anyway, considering the whole reason he's supposed to be awake is to watch Lalli and maybe murder him if he starts growing wings or frothing at the mouth or something.
...Wow he really hopes mouth foam isn't a side effect of other weird mage shit or Lalli's in trouble.
The fact remains that Lalli could be mutating or dying or something underneath him somewhere in that little nest of his, and he hopes he hears it if it's going to happen. Brushing what crumbs might be potentially on top of the mattress off onto the floor, he too lays down with his head relatively close to where Lalli is, hoping to hear any commotion -- be it simple stirring or anguished screams.
It's hard to tell how long it does take him to fitfully fall asleep, but it does happen eventually; being emotionally tired does take a toll on you. Sorry your protector wasn't as diligent as you would have liked Lalli.
Just wait until these kiddos realize this was all for naught. )
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...Well, he supposes he can't really blame him. He still will, real lowkey, but he's alive. Better yet, he's himself. And Emil's okay, too. That's good. Really good.]
Hn...
[But gosh, what is he supposed to do now? He considers leaving and going about his business, but there's the dim thought that that might freak Emil out, should he wake up. Look at that, he's getting better at this friendship thing. So remember, it's because of that friendship that Lalli spends nearly a full minute staring at Emil before gently brushing some of his bangs back into place, then push his palm not-as-gently against his cheek. Pay attention to himmmm...]
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