❰ lalli came home more than a little too late last night to catch emil still awake, but on the morning of the 14th he'll wake to find a single white flower in a jar half full of dirt on the bedside table. he hasn't quite forgotten how poorly the last little white flower managed, nor has he forgotten how excited emil was to see it.
there's no note, no indication of why this thing has been left in this place. just a finn sleeping comfortably in his spot, likely for quite a bit longer after his late night out. ❱
( Lalli is gone a lot lately. That's fine -- the first few days Emil thought it was perhaps reactionary, like the absence was related to something he did, didn't do. Maybe some other emotional happenstance that Lalli is more apt to run through a forest to avoid instead of more typical forms of communication. Instead, it's just a very fierce investment in scouting, learning more about this sap and the other wild magics of Asgard, and thus Emil is unbothered by seeing him more sporadically.
Typically Lalli either wakes him up somehow or is gone before Emil wakes, but today he stirs to find Lalli still in bed. Despite voicing no complaints about not seeing his boyfrend as much, this is still the preferable scenario. It makes continuing his own day harder, which would mean missing ou on closeness, interaction -- and it's also not as if he'll complain about spending some more time in bed.
Eventually Lalli also begins to wake up, and he's offered a stroke of his hair, from the crown of his head down so that he can feel Emil's hand against his cheek. )
Morning. ( The hand retracts. There are questions he could ask about what all Lalli found or did out in the woods yesterday, curiosities of his own, but instead comments on the new feature of the room: a small white flower, jarred and placed on their side table. Maybe it ties together anyway; it's some sort of sap specimen that Lalli brought in for observation. ) Your flower looks nice.
❰ no, this time it really hasn't been running away from something. more running toward something - toward answers, understanding, or so he'd hoped. so far, it's eluded him. he never was a skald, and research and study are hardly his strong suit.
to be honest, hearing that the gods are forming clusters of people to take care of things like research and study... it's a relief. lalli doesn't fail, but he's beaten his head against this glowing sap mess for so long that at times he's been half-tempted to just do like klaus and taste it. it seems like the only thing he hasn't tried. the fact that he hasn't tried because it's completely stupid is what ultimately stops him each time.
either way, last night he left that problem in the woods where it belongs, refusing to carry it home to bed one more night. and he slept through the night, for the first time in ages.
and he's still sleeping, comfortable, content, even as emil starts to stir. it's not until fingers trail through his hair and along the line of his face. 'morning.' it gets a vague pleased throat sound as lalli cracks an eye, then closes it again. the comment about the flower stirs him a bit more effectively, and the finn furrows his brow in a tired ineffective scowl. ❱ S'not my flower. ❰ which is a lot less obvious than he'd thought it would be. did lalli do it wrong? he should've asked the kid more questions, but he didn't want to show any more interest in this stupid holiday than is strictly necessary in case klaus was spying. ❱
( The answer puzzles Emil for a moment, twisting slightly to make sure the existence of the aforementioned plant isn't the part that's in question. No, it's there. He looks back at Lalli's closed-eyed face again before he questions again. )
Then...it's mine? ( Fingers smooth his boyfriend's shorter bang hairs flat before sliding down to tuck the longer strands behinds his hair. It half-feels like a stupid question, because either answer he gets will be of course obvious, but he's slightly in awe of the idea that Lalli would gift him flowers -- a flower, anyway. )
❰ the hummed response is impressively noncommittal, for how decisive he was about the flower not being his. one arm unburrows from his nest of blanket and pillow, finding a corner of emil's shirt to fiddle with between the pads of three fingers. ❱ Can put it back, if you don't want it. ❰ y'know. if it's as stupid as lalli suspects it might be. ❱
( It's definitely not stupid, especially now. Emil sits up a bit more, though not enough to pull his shirt from Lalli's fingers. He glances at the flower, small but still pretty. He briefly looks around for a sign of Nukka, half-surprised she hasn't already seen this new addition and tried to knock it over, before giving his head a shake, vocalizing, )
No, no, I want it. I didn't expect it, that's all. ( It's not at all a bad surprise, and Emil gives Lalli's hair another smoothing as an indication. ) Thank you.
( Lalli is such a purposeful person that he's curious about a few things in relation to this little gift. Why this kind of flower? Why now? Not that he's complaining about random gifts, but even if that was the answer he might like that more than if there was some solid reason behind it. ) What's the occasion?
❰ oh, but look again - nukka's that blanket-covered lump near their feet. on the chillier nights, she likes to burrow (as if she doesn't have the luxury of a thick fur coat keeping her warm).
meanwhile, this time lalli's hum is more pleased. content, almost. when asked the occasion, his brow knits slightly in thought. ❱ Holiday. Something with a 'V'. ❰ unhelpful, he knows. ❱ He said flowers or chocolate. ❰ this might ring a bell, if emil caught the 'valentine's day' post sora made. ❱
( Finished examining his flower, Emil reverses his previous movements to lie back down in bed, arm retracting from above Lalli's head. He lays on his side, though, close enough to continue some form of touch if the mood struck.
He thinks back to how he might be familiar with this holiday...there was a post by that one kid about something along those lines, and he realizes that isn't even the first time that particular child notified people of some holiday. Mostly having to do with gift giving. What a prosperous world he must come from -- definitely something he's invested in.
Regardless of what he can and can't remember, Lalli gives him the bite-sized version and he breathes, thinking about what he'd need to equally celebrate. Part of the answer is obvious: )
I know you'd prefer chocolate...I'm sure I could get some, somewhere. ( It's not the most prevalent resource, but also not impossible to find. It may not be something he could get immediately, without god involvement anyway. But that isn't even off the table. )
❰ thoughtlessly, lalli rolls onto his side now too. mirroring emil almost, close but not quite touching. his eyes have slipped closed again (not sleeping, just resting), though one cracks open again at the talk of chocolate. 'i'm sure i could get some, somewhere.' ❱ Stay, ❰ he says, decisively, as if emil meant to get up now to search. chocolate is good but not necessary. he doesn't give emil things just to make emil give him things back.
this is 'giving him things back'. laying here, lending his warmth even without direct touch. considering lalli's happiness as if it's a relevant concept. it lets lalli maybe halfway pretend that's a relevant concept, sometimes. ❱
( He's given a command that's easy to follow through with. Getting out of bed immediately hadn't been in Emil's purview, and now there's even more of an excuse to stay. It's still early morning, and it's not as if the Gods sleep -- he can go harass one for chocolate anytime he pleases. Lalli is so often gone, this is definitely the more rare of moments.
It's because of this that the reaching out is subconscious, as his bent arm moves to rest on Lalli's side, just under where his ribcage ends. Emil can feel the very last one against the edge of his thumb, just barely through the fabric of his shirt. He misses touching Lalli, both in smaller ways and those are are more all encompassing.
For now he settles for the former, sliding ever so close, meeting their foreheads together. A small, sighing exhale escapes him as his eyes close. There's no better way to immediately relax him, given the right circumstance. )
❰ it's still... different, no matter how long they've been close. lalli's spent so much of his life doing everything in his power to mute within his mind all evidence of the people around him, yet here he is, so acutely aware of each move emil makes. the way he reaches out for lalli, and when he does, his thumb rests on lalli's floating rib. he learned as a child that the floating ribs don't connect in the center and the years since then have held a simmering effort to forget it, to pretend such a structural weakness doesn't exist within his own body - the body that's supposed to fight against trolls and beasts but could easily be taken down if that precarious floating rib gets pushed into the organs beyond.
that very thought springs to mind for barely more than a moment before emil's forehead find his, banishing that insidious whisper as effectively as any runo. it doesn't make sense for lalli to feel grateful about it, but he does, one hand lifting to slide fingers through a messy bit of hair near emil's ear. ❱
❰ Usually he can feel that his hair is out of place; it's not even a sensation from the scalp like with normal people, just this innate knowledge that something is off. If he thought about it for a moment, Emil could still target those strands of hair to fix, but it's far from him right now. He can only think of how much he likes it when Lalli slides fingers them. ❱
You're going scouting soon, right? ❰ It's a question that might break his enjoyment of the moment, but Emil wants to know whether or not they can be like this, or more, for a bit longer. ❱
❰ for what it's worth, lalli's (gradually, thoughtlessly) fixing that messy spot, not making it worse. there are times when he does make it worse, times when he's alright with making emil feel affectionately harassed, but now isn't quite one of those times.
'you're going scouting soon, right?' hm. he definitely should, something feels unsettling about forgoing it - but on every practical level, it's not like there's some ever-present danger left unattended if he doesn't. not like back in keuruu, or the silent world. lives are almost certainly not on the line.
so instead of an answer, a question: ❱ Am I? ❰ for some, it might be a trick question. lalli doesn't ask trick questions. he doesn't ask questions in which he's already leaning heavily toward one answer or another, because then he'd just... choose that answer.
no, the decision this time lies entirely with emil. ❱
❰ It's actually a surprise that the answer is posed as a question, one that he feels like he has some say in the correctness of. Lalli is typically a 'yes' or 'no' type person, so Emil doesn't give an answer immediately.
On one hand, Lalli probably wants to go in some capacity. Maybe it's not some pressing need that can't be suppressed, but again: he's a scout. Scouts...scout. It's a cornerstone of his sense of purpose and identity.
And on the other, for him to leave would mean that this comforting moment of warmth would also go along with him. It's not like he'll never have the chance for this ever again -- far from it, with any luck -- but the feeling of this closeness right now is one he'd like to marinate in for a bit longer. ❱
Maybe in a little while. ❰ That's a good compromise, right? Lalli can leave in a while, if Emil has any sway in the actual outcome here, and in the meantime he can enjoy togetherness he's missed out on in the meantime. The hand cupping Lalli's side moves slightly, a small rub back and forth. If he was entirely selfish and requested a leave of absence from scouting for the day, he'd be brave enough to move higher, even abandoning the feel of fabric for one of skin. ❱
❰ is it really so surprising, that emil has some sort of sway? from the start he's managed to tug or push lalli into one thing or another, as much of a fuss as the finn seems to make.
the acquiescence of emil's request comes in the form of a vague hum, a slight nudging of the swede's nose with his own before he relaxes into the position they've chosen to lay. the fingers combing thoughtlessly through the ends of emil's hair drop now to let the pad of his middle finger trace featherlight along the line of his jaw and the tickling texture of his morning stubble.
if he was entirely selfish and requested a leave of absence for the day, lalli would've done it. he wouldn't have even been all that bothered. maybe next time, emil will be so brave. to ask. to touch. there's no guarantee that lalli won't be terribly ticklish, of course. in fact, as unused to touch as he is, i'd bet on the probability of it. ❱
❰ Forgive him that he hasn't settled into the reality that he has such sway with Lalli, someone who under most circumstances would put his duty above all else. As he settles into this thought, that he comes before this important consideration, Emil smiles and rethinks his previous weighing of options.
The trace of the finger, even as slight as it is, makes it easier to backtrack, as well as his hand that moves out of its previous zone of back-and-forth motion, lower until he can feel the hem of the covering shirt hit his own fingers.
This time the upward motion is against skin, smooth and slightly warm. Emil yet again stops at that floating rib, absorbing the tactile difference between soft flesh and the hardened bone under his hand. It's not as if it's the first time; his hand was just there seconds ago -- but the difference that just the millimetre of fabric makes to his heart is unexpectedly vast.
They're nose to nose, a convenient fact considering how much he'd currently like to kiss him. ❱
❰ it's bolder than usual. that's the excuse lalli finds for the slow, barely-level intake of breath as bare fingertips skate up along his middle. he expected something like that to tickle, to itch, to be too much somehow - and it is, enough so that his eyes have closed against even an ounce more stimulus, but it's the kind of 'too much' that lalli doesn't object to as much as he feels like he should. he's gone still by now, but that shouldn't deter emil too much - the finn has never had any problem letting anyone know if he doesn't want something, in words or discontented sounds or just moving away from them, and he's doing none of those things. just... processing.
then eyes flutter open again, gaze piercing into emil's as he finally lets out his breath, just as slow as he took it in. the hand that still hovers around the swede's jaw finds his hair again, giving the slightest tug at a lock of it in case he's overthinking. ❱
❰ No, a displeased Lalli is one he's all too familiar with. Frosty and distant, sharp and angular in form and feeling. Right now, he can feel a certain tension under the skin he's currently touch, now much more intimately in tune with the breath Lalli just took.
They're already close, a few inches separating anything but their faces, but Emil's grip tightens slightly as he moves to finally kiss the scout, position's work postponed just for him, and pulling Lalli ever closer. It's soft, against the side of his mouth, but he remains present. One kiss, then another.
He's never plainly stated that he wants this, wants more than this, even. Emil told him plainly he'd thought of kissing him, wanting to hold him. These are only a handful of his personal, private desires -- though eventually, he'd like if they became less so, even slowly but surely. ❱
❰ lalli has never quite been one to understand people - how they act, what they say - but this? this, he understands. not in his head, but in the rest of him. as relatively new as all of this is, and as much as he hates new situations and the way they throw him off-balance, this feels... hm. it feels like something that played out in a dream that he can't quite remember, familiar and nonetheless not. maybe it did. lalli doesn't think that he dreams any actual dreams here, but if he does, emil's hands on his skin aren't an unlikely topic to dream about.
so when he's tugged in closer, he shifts just enough to press into emil of his own volition, present in this. the kisses to the side of his mouth earn an impatient sort of mrr in his throat, tilting his chin just enough for the next kiss to meet more directly. ❱
❰ Lalli more present against him sends a sharp hum through Emil's body, slightly shocking. They've kissed many times now. It's a usual activity; it's lost the novelty, but the feeling it gives him only intensifies. This is true now as well, but there's this distinct difference. Not just this emotional fulfilment is present, there's also this niggling physical absence that he's compelled to try and fill.
It doesn't help that Lalli's also moved his head, making the kiss more complete. And that noise...the one Lalli makes out of mild annoyance that something isn't right or happening at the moment he'd like it to. In this situation it's...alluring? Whatever the correct adjective, it makes the kiss deeper, and it feels like as close as they are currently it just isn't enough.
His gripping hand backtracks down the curve of his boyfriend's side, back to the hem of that fabric again. Instead of sliding under, Emil collects it in folds as he moves upward again. They're laying down, so it won't come off easy, but his brain doesn't currently consider this among the swirling desires of needing to feel this skin more closely, and to see it clearly in front of him. ❱
❰ they may have kissed many times now, but rarely have they kissed like this. lalli's not sure why, anymore. maybe they should have.
now emil's hand slides back down and lalli's middle tenses, preparing for the inadvertent tickle of light fingertips on skin - but instead, the swede grabs a handful of shirt and drags it upward. lalli's brow knits, confused about how exactly this demand's going to be met the way they are now, but he tries to wriggle a bit to oblige and let the shirt inch its way out from under him. his free hand, the one tangled in blonde hair, drops down out of the way of emil's endeavor to instead slip feather-light fingers under the hem of the swede's own shirt. ❱
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❰ action ❱ day 250 (feb 14th)
there's no note, no indication of why this thing has been left in this place. just a finn sleeping comfortably in his spot, likely for quite a bit longer after his late night out. ❱
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Typically Lalli either wakes him up somehow or is gone before Emil wakes, but today he stirs to find Lalli still in bed. Despite voicing no complaints about not seeing his boyfrend as much, this is still the preferable scenario. It makes continuing his own day harder, which would mean missing ou on closeness, interaction -- and it's also not as if he'll complain about spending some more time in bed.
Eventually Lalli also begins to wake up, and he's offered a stroke of his hair, from the crown of his head down so that he can feel Emil's hand against his cheek. )
Morning. ( The hand retracts. There are questions he could ask about what all Lalli found or did out in the woods yesterday, curiosities of his own, but instead comments on the new feature of the room: a small white flower, jarred and placed on their side table. Maybe it ties together anyway; it's some sort of sap specimen that Lalli brought in for observation. ) Your flower looks nice.
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to be honest, hearing that the gods are forming clusters of people to take care of things like research and study... it's a relief. lalli doesn't fail, but he's beaten his head against this glowing sap mess for so long that at times he's been half-tempted to just do like klaus and taste it. it seems like the only thing he hasn't tried. the fact that he hasn't tried because it's completely stupid is what ultimately stops him each time.
either way, last night he left that problem in the woods where it belongs, refusing to carry it home to bed one more night. and he slept through the night, for the first time in ages.
and he's still sleeping, comfortable, content, even as emil starts to stir. it's not until fingers trail through his hair and along the line of his face. 'morning.' it gets a vague pleased throat sound as lalli cracks an eye, then closes it again. the comment about the flower stirs him a bit more effectively, and the finn furrows his brow in a tired ineffective scowl. ❱ S'not my flower. ❰ which is a lot less obvious than he'd thought it would be. did lalli do it wrong? he should've asked the kid more questions, but he didn't want to show any more interest in this stupid holiday than is strictly necessary in case klaus was spying. ❱
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Then...it's mine? ( Fingers smooth his boyfriend's shorter bang hairs flat before sliding down to tuck the longer strands behinds his hair. It half-feels like a stupid question, because either answer he gets will be of course obvious, but he's slightly in awe of the idea that Lalli would gift him flowers -- a flower, anyway. )
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No, no, I want it. I didn't expect it, that's all. ( It's not at all a bad surprise, and Emil gives Lalli's hair another smoothing as an indication. ) Thank you.
( Lalli is such a purposeful person that he's curious about a few things in relation to this little gift. Why this kind of flower? Why now? Not that he's complaining about random gifts, but even if that was the answer he might like that more than if there was some solid reason behind it. ) What's the occasion?
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meanwhile, this time lalli's hum is more pleased. content, almost. when asked the occasion, his brow knits slightly in thought. ❱ Holiday. Something with a 'V'. ❰ unhelpful, he knows. ❱ He said flowers or chocolate. ❰ this might ring a bell, if emil caught the 'valentine's day' post sora made. ❱
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He thinks back to how he might be familiar with this holiday...there was a post by that one kid about something along those lines, and he realizes that isn't even the first time that particular child notified people of some holiday. Mostly having to do with gift giving. What a prosperous world he must come from -- definitely something he's invested in.
Regardless of what he can and can't remember, Lalli gives him the bite-sized version and he breathes, thinking about what he'd need to equally celebrate. Part of the answer is obvious: )
I know you'd prefer chocolate...I'm sure I could get some, somewhere. ( It's not the most prevalent resource, but also not impossible to find. It may not be something he could get immediately, without god involvement anyway. But that isn't even off the table. )
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this is 'giving him things back'. laying here, lending his warmth even without direct touch. considering lalli's happiness as if it's a relevant concept. it lets lalli maybe halfway pretend that's a relevant concept, sometimes. ❱
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It's because of this that the reaching out is subconscious, as his bent arm moves to rest on Lalli's side, just under where his ribcage ends. Emil can feel the very last one against the edge of his thumb, just barely through the fabric of his shirt. He misses touching Lalli, both in smaller ways and those are are more all encompassing.
For now he settles for the former, sliding ever so close, meeting their foreheads together. A small, sighing exhale escapes him as his eyes close. There's no better way to immediately relax him, given the right circumstance. )
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that very thought springs to mind for barely more than a moment before emil's forehead find his, banishing that insidious whisper as effectively as any runo. it doesn't make sense for lalli to feel grateful about it, but he does, one hand lifting to slide fingers through a messy bit of hair near emil's ear. ❱
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You're going scouting soon, right? ❰ It's a question that might break his enjoyment of the moment, but Emil wants to know whether or not they can be like this, or more, for a bit longer. ❱
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'you're going scouting soon, right?' hm. he definitely should, something feels unsettling about forgoing it - but on every practical level, it's not like there's some ever-present danger left unattended if he doesn't. not like back in keuruu, or the silent world. lives are almost certainly not on the line.
so instead of an answer, a question: ❱ Am I? ❰ for some, it might be a trick question. lalli doesn't ask trick questions. he doesn't ask questions in which he's already leaning heavily toward one answer or another, because then he'd just... choose that answer.
no, the decision this time lies entirely with emil. ❱
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On one hand, Lalli probably wants to go in some capacity. Maybe it's not some pressing need that can't be suppressed, but again: he's a scout. Scouts...scout. It's a cornerstone of his sense of purpose and identity.
And on the other, for him to leave would mean that this comforting moment of warmth would also go along with him. It's not like he'll never have the chance for this ever again -- far from it, with any luck -- but the feeling of this closeness right now is one he'd like to marinate in for a bit longer. ❱
Maybe in a little while. ❰ That's a good compromise, right? Lalli can leave in a while, if Emil has any sway in the actual outcome here, and in the meantime he can enjoy togetherness he's missed out on in the meantime. The hand cupping Lalli's side moves slightly, a small rub back and forth. If he was entirely selfish and requested a leave of absence from scouting for the day, he'd be brave enough to move higher, even abandoning the feel of fabric for one of skin. ❱
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the acquiescence of emil's request comes in the form of a vague hum, a slight nudging of the swede's nose with his own before he relaxes into the position they've chosen to lay. the fingers combing thoughtlessly through the ends of emil's hair drop now to let the pad of his middle finger trace featherlight along the line of his jaw and the tickling texture of his morning stubble.
if he was entirely selfish and requested a leave of absence for the day, lalli would've done it. he wouldn't have even been all that bothered. maybe next time, emil will be so brave. to ask. to touch. there's no guarantee that lalli won't be terribly ticklish, of course. in fact, as unused to touch as he is, i'd bet on the probability of it. ❱
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The trace of the finger, even as slight as it is, makes it easier to backtrack, as well as his hand that moves out of its previous zone of back-and-forth motion, lower until he can feel the hem of the covering shirt hit his own fingers.
This time the upward motion is against skin, smooth and slightly warm. Emil yet again stops at that floating rib, absorbing the tactile difference between soft flesh and the hardened bone under his hand. It's not as if it's the first time; his hand was just there seconds ago -- but the difference that just the millimetre of fabric makes to his heart is unexpectedly vast.
They're nose to nose, a convenient fact considering how much he'd currently like to kiss him. ❱
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then eyes flutter open again, gaze piercing into emil's as he finally lets out his breath, just as slow as he took it in. the hand that still hovers around the swede's jaw finds his hair again, giving the slightest tug at a lock of it in case he's overthinking. ❱
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They're already close, a few inches separating anything but their faces, but Emil's grip tightens slightly as he moves to finally kiss the scout, position's work postponed just for him, and pulling Lalli ever closer. It's soft, against the side of his mouth, but he remains present. One kiss, then another.
He's never plainly stated that he wants this, wants more than this, even. Emil told him plainly he'd thought of kissing him, wanting to hold him. These are only a handful of his personal, private desires -- though eventually, he'd like if they became less so, even slowly but surely. ❱
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so when he's tugged in closer, he shifts just enough to press into emil of his own volition, present in this. the kisses to the side of his mouth earn an impatient sort of mrr in his throat, tilting his chin just enough for the next kiss to meet more directly. ❱
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It doesn't help that Lalli's also moved his head, making the kiss more complete. And that noise...the one Lalli makes out of mild annoyance that something isn't right or happening at the moment he'd like it to. In this situation it's...alluring? Whatever the correct adjective, it makes the kiss deeper, and it feels like as close as they are currently it just isn't enough.
His gripping hand backtracks down the curve of his boyfriend's side, back to the hem of that fabric again. Instead of sliding under, Emil collects it in folds as he moves upward again. They're laying down, so it won't come off easy, but his brain doesn't currently consider this among the swirling desires of needing to feel this skin more closely, and to see it clearly in front of him. ❱
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now emil's hand slides back down and lalli's middle tenses, preparing for the inadvertent tickle of light fingertips on skin - but instead, the swede grabs a handful of shirt and drags it upward. lalli's brow knits, confused about how exactly this demand's going to be met the way they are now, but he tries to wriggle a bit to oblige and let the shirt inch its way out from under him. his free hand, the one tangled in blonde hair, drops down out of the way of emil's endeavor to instead slip feather-light fingers under the hem of the swede's own shirt. ❱