[...but why, when things in Birch were infinitely better than this shit he's bringing over...
Anyway, the door cracks open the slightest bit to reveal a spooky ghost. Seriously, it's this skeleton of a man with a sheet dragged over to cover him, one eye peeking out from the makeshift hood, moving silently except for a rasping sort of growl when he sees that all the protection Emil's got for himself is terrible at best. He's too tired to deal with this... So come on in, man. Lalli's returning to his nest underneath his bed, finally stuffed with all of his blankets instead of just the pillow. He's so cold. It's stupid.]
But a break is certainly not what he's being given. Being told he looks bad immediately flusters him -- it's the stupid chowder stains, isn't it? Or maybe the fact that there's a faint smell of freaky fish.
Emil lets himself in and immediately stares at Lalli's under bed cocoon. Of course, he's not even using the perfectly good bed when he's ill. )
...Sleeping on the floor probably doesn't help, you know. ( SIGHS but he won't press the issue. Slowly but surely he slides in his sacrificial blanket and crackers. He paid good money for those, so try?? to be grateful.
He's also not quite sure how best to address someone living under a bed in normal conversation. Should be lay on the ground? Should he get on top of the bed and look upside down? The latter actually seems like the better of the two ideas, so he's there in a flash, sweater arms hanging down alongside his hair. )
[Another raspy growl eminates from under the bed -- the floor is fine -- but the offerings are indeed tugged deeper in with him. This is a bad blanket??? He's not sure this warrants the "you tried" sticker, even if that was painfully true.]
...Bad.
[He lifts his gaze a fraction to meet Emil's, and somehow he looks even more pale and haunted than normal. Also mega annoyed.]
The cold and the light hurts. And I'm hungry. Like a troll. Really bad, it's really gross. [He's really bad and really gross.]
( Damn, and Lalli says he looks bad? But unlike some people, his wide eyed gaze comes from a place of concern and not rudeness!! Though it might look rude anyway, oops. )
You're not like a troll. ( At least, he can't see how that's possible. In fact, that's something to compartmentalize because it will never be possible to his brain. ) You're just sick, that's all. Normal sick.
( He tries to remove the waver in his voice, but it's very hard, even with his sweater!mask covering up his mouth. ) If you want something more I can go to your kitchen...?
[He makes a soft noise, not entirely convinced. He'd always been too small, too skinny. He didn't escape the usual illnesses, especially in the little waterway community he toddled around in before they moved to Keuruu, and they hadn't felt like this. He'd never had to check himself for the telltale rash before, but when he'd gotten progressively worse with batcat exposure, he'd finally gotten to experience that frightening process. Clear skin, but his mind still swam with fear, anger, and an overwhelming need for sugar. He doesn't know if he's ever eaten this much before.]
...No. It's okay. These are fine. [They were too dry, too stale, and too bland, but he deserved it. Besides, it was...sort of okay, maybe even nice, having Emil here paying attention to him.] You're fine here. If you still want to be.
( Emil definitely can't empathize with that feeling, being honest. But what he does know is that being removed from a world where everything is pretty squeaky clean and and you don't have to worry about anything other than the sniffles, seeing real sickness and hearing about the reality of illness is...scary is the simplest word for it, but it definitely doesn't do the feeling justice.
So he doesn't know how that reality feels, but even seeing something close to it. He doesn't like it. Who it is just makes it worse. )
Yeah sure. ( It wouldn't be the first time Lalli was less than healthy and he was only just short of sitting vigil over him. ) But tell me if you need anything. Okay?
( He gets comfortable, or as comfortable as you can be upside down with the blood rushing to your head. )
Yeah, sort of. I saw someone earlier who got bitten a lot and he looked like you do now. He was cold and tired...I don't know about hungry. It made me hungry, though.
I didn't expect normal -- somewhat normal looking cats to cause so much damage. ( Great, now Lalli has more fuel for the anti-cat arsenal. )
( The scene is outside the Cypress dorms. A bat-cat lands and Emil is a little weirded out by the fact it flew in (he may have screamed, he may not have -- no one can say for sure), but it mews like a normal cat. It washes its paw like a normal cat. It can't hurt to try to pet it, will it?
Nope, bad idea. Betrayal, blood, disappointment -- end scene. And end subject. )
How did you get bitten so much, anyway? ( If Emil gets to relive his embarrassment, Lalli can relive his. )
[ -- okay, no, he's way more sick than Emil, this isn't fair!!! Which is why he rolls onto his other side with a growl and a crinkle of the cracker roll bag...thing. It's not a sound he likes much, so he pushes it out from under the bed, as far as his arm can reach, and leaves it there for Emil to pick up again should he choose to join him in turning around. Otherwise it's an offering to the floor gods.]
...Did something stupid. Didn't pay attention.
[Just going about his day, trying to avoid cats, hissing at the ones getting too close, like usual. Getting careless and swatting one away when it tried to land on him. He usually wore his gloves and they did a good job of protecting him, but... It was hot, these days. His delicate Finnish body can't take the heat.]
( Emil leaves the cracker package for now, but he does flip himself to keep eye contact with Lalli as best as possible...which is hard as he's so cocooned.
This is actually something he can empathize with though. He's made mistakes before, he knows how much they can hurt...how they can be embarrassing. )
It's okay. You'll get better and it won't really matter. ( Maybe the more mature, seasoned advice would be something like "learn from your mistakes" or anything else equally Saturday Morning PSA worthy. But he's imperfect, Lalli's imperfect. That's why they get bit by mutant cats in the first place. ) Don't beat yourself up over it if it's already done.
( At least, that's what eventually works for him after he stresses out about something for an hour or five. )
[He couldn't make mistakes. Onni had only impressed that on him even more as the years went by. Ms. Frizzle would have given Onni multiple heart attacks...]
Never mind. It won't happen again. And you won't get sick like me. You're going to stay here or be really, really careful.
( His brows furrow amidst his hair and sweater mask. Lalli can be so difficult, but then he's always been sort of difficult...just usually not fluently.
Still, if Lalli's moving on then Emil's not going to press the subject. He's sick after all. He huffs anyway -- he's not a child. )
I'm being careful! I'll go stand in the sun for an hour or two after this if it'll calm you down. ( Emil isn't entirely sure what the deal is with this illness outside of the cats and the bites, but that's makeshift decontamination procedure back home so. Why not? )
[It has nothing to do with him calming down! He is calm! Well, no, he's agitated, and he hasn't really been able to stop being agitated for some reason. He doesn't like it.]
I mean careful with the dumb cats. Stay away from them, or -- or get them before they can get you.
( If Emil finds a cat corpse in this room he might scream. No -- he will scream. )
I'll be fine with the cats. I'm the one who's only been bitten once, remember?
( Actually there have been a few close call scenarios but. Leaving those out in favor of throat clearing. )
And I definitely don't want to kill one unless it's absolutely necessary. ( In reality he's a bleeding heart...but isn't being a little too over zealous with a knife what got Lalli into this mess HMMMMM?? )
[Well, luckily Lalli gave away two of the corpses. The third was kind of torn apart. It's possible there's a hunk of furry flesh caked on the bottom of Lalli's boot, and there's most definitely a jumble of small bones somewhere. It's fine. It's a Mage Thing.]
Mrrrh. Don't be stupid. They're making people sick, making them hate cold and light! They're like trolls, just... Just don't look as gross. But we don't know what's going to happen. If you can't get away, letting them live would be a mistake.
[It's Heavily Implied by his tone that this would be Really Bad and Emil should feel Bad for even considering it an option.]
...I'm not being stupid. I know when I have to kill something.
( He could go on about how he's not going to go hunt out every troll alive and just start whacking at it but he refrains. Emil isn't a fan of feeling like he's on the wrong end of things. Even if that feels routine as of late.
Instead of arguing he disappears for a second, becomes more than a little woozy as the blood rushes away from his head, but returns eventually with another small tin cracker box. They may be a little crumby rimshot.mp3 from being jostled in his pocket but they're food. )
Eat some more. You need to. ( If he's starving after one bite, he can't even imagine the size of the horse Lalli could devour right now. )
[In a brief flash of irritation, Lalli feels like snapping back, but his anger turns on himself instead as he stumbles to hiss out some sort of insult and ends up biting his tongue. Fuck.]
Mrrh. [And like a petulant child, he rolls to face the other direction again.] Doesn't help. Ate -- ate a lot earlier. Too much. It doesn't help at all.
[He narrows his eyes and picks at some floor lint, nails rasping a little as they made contact.]
...I know you're not stupid. [He was definitely being competent enough now to be Lalli's nurse, even with that ridiculous makeshift mask. Didn't mean Lalli wants to declare this any louder than a mumble.] Did you eat?
( This isn't a lie necessarily. He did eat -- soup broth and an unidentifiable vegetable that, based on how it tasted, he's pretty sure was poisonous. Between those and the crackers, though, he's certainly not full. Especially after being soured by that horrid gourd.
Emil rolls again, missing the softly spoken statement and completely content to continue observing Lalli, agitated and fidgety though he may be. )
You don't have to eat them, but if you're hungry and you have food it can't hurt. ( Spoken like a kid who's had three square meals a day most of his life. Emil likes sharing this joy with you, Lalli. Let him... )
[His fidgeting stops a moment, and then he glances up to meet Emil's gaze once more. Nnnnh...
Slowly, he reaches out to take it. It wasn't sweet, and it wouldn't satisfy him, and his stomach would protest at how much he was eating later, but -- but Emil was trying. He should try, too.]
...Emil. If I start to...be less me. And I don't go back. [If he changes, becomes one of them, is stuck dragging himself across floors and skittering on walls while only thinking of pain and his next meal.] Will you do it?
[that awkward moment when your best friend asks you about assisted suicide]
( ...That's literally not what could ever cross his mind when Lalli asks that question. Which is why he nonchalantly tilts his head, blinking in confusion. )
Mm? Do what?
( Water your plants? Help blow your troll nose? File your taxes? Emil isn't convinced Lalli is going to turn into some werecat creature. He's concerned about the flu but not that he'd ever have to kill him. )
[Theres a harder edge to his tone, now. There was no guarantee that his worst fears would come to pass, but it wasn't like there was no basis for it. He knew the signs. They'd been drilled into him since before he could comprehend their real meaning, the cost of living in an area where a group of people could be swept away before you knew it. Even the people he lived with. Emil's response made it seem like he wasn't taking this seriously at all, and it made the easy anger from the bites flare up again.]
You said you know when you have to kill something. Can you do it?
( The realization of what Lalli means hits him after he says the word "kill" and his eyes go wide and his face freezes. The question after that doesn't register, but a crushing weight on his chest does. Holy shit. Holy shit.
Even in the case of there being real infection going around in the silent world, Emil never considered a teammate actually being affected. The possibility was present, that's what decontamination procedures are for, no matter how pedantic and boring they may be...but that applied to freaks like Reynir or to Tuuri. To think of Lalli infected to the point of change was impossible, and so it was never even a "what if" scenario to play around with in his mind. )
What? No...! No, I-- No! ( He trails off, unable to find the ability to reiterate the words, even in a rejection. Emil has trouble mercy killing a dog, how in the hell is he supposed to help kill his best friend? Emil sits up, breaking eye contact in an attempt to let it sink in, almost immediately in a panic. Not only is he thinking about the idea of killing Lalli, even if he doesn't look like Lalli, but the idea that Lalli just asked him himself. )
( Emil doesn't immediately lay back down, but instead speaks from where he's sitting. It's been about a minute since he sat up. He starts once but then shifts his makeshift sanitary mask to make sure Lalli can hear him. )
Is that what you want me to do? If that ever happens? ( His voice is softer, shaken and much more timid. Because if Lalli wants him to, then... )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Anyway, the door cracks open the slightest bit to reveal a spooky ghost. Seriously, it's this skeleton of a man with a sheet dragged over to cover him, one eye peeking out from the makeshift hood, moving silently except for a rasping sort of growl when he sees that all the protection Emil's got for himself is terrible at best. He's too tired to deal with this... So come on in, man. Lalli's returning to his nest underneath his bed, finally stuffed with all of his blankets instead of just the pillow. He's so cold. It's stupid.]
You look bad. [lalli]
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But a break is certainly not what he's being given. Being told he looks bad immediately flusters him -- it's the stupid chowder stains, isn't it? Or maybe the fact that there's a faint smell of freaky fish.
Emil lets himself in and immediately stares at Lalli's under bed cocoon. Of course, he's not even using the perfectly good bed when he's ill. )
...Sleeping on the floor probably doesn't help, you know. ( SIGHS but he won't press the issue. Slowly but surely he slides in his sacrificial blanket and crackers. He paid good money for those, so try?? to be grateful.
He's also not quite sure how best to address someone living under a bed in normal conversation. Should be lay on the ground? Should he get on top of the bed and look upside down? The latter actually seems like the better of the two ideas, so he's there in a flash, sweater arms hanging down alongside his hair. )
How are you feeling?
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...Bad.
[He lifts his gaze a fraction to meet Emil's, and somehow he looks even more pale and haunted than normal. Also mega annoyed.]
The cold and the light hurts. And I'm hungry. Like a troll. Really bad, it's really gross. [He's really bad and really gross.]
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You're not like a troll. ( At least, he can't see how that's possible. In fact, that's something to compartmentalize because it will never be possible to his brain. ) You're just sick, that's all. Normal sick.
( He tries to remove the waver in his voice, but it's very hard, even with his sweater!mask covering up his mouth. ) If you want something more I can go to your kitchen...?
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...No. It's okay. These are fine. [They were too dry, too stale, and too bland, but he deserved it. Besides, it was...sort of okay, maybe even nice, having Emil here paying attention to him.] You're fine here. If you still want to be.
[that waver tho]
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So he doesn't know how that reality feels, but even seeing something close to it. He doesn't like it. Who it is just makes it worse. )
Yeah sure. ( It wouldn't be the first time Lalli was less than healthy and he was only just short of sitting vigil over him. ) But tell me if you need anything. Okay?
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[He closes his eyes and sighs, like that's an answer, but overall Lalli seems less agitated. And he's still eating these disgusting crackers.
Speaking of which...]
Did you know already? That I would be cold and hungry?
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Yeah, sort of. I saw someone earlier who got bitten a lot and he looked like you do now. He was cold and tired...I don't know about hungry. It made me hungry, though.
I didn't expect normal -- somewhat normal looking cats to cause so much damage. ( Great, now Lalli has more fuel for the anti-cat arsenal. )
first of all how dare you but also thanks
[LIKE...EMIL... You can only defend batcats so much.]
All cats break things. Their bites can be dangerous. [cats suck] These ones are weird and in a new place. Why wouldn't they cause damage?
idk what you speak of, i can't read suddenly
( The scene is outside the Cypress dorms. A bat-cat lands and Emil is a little weirded out by the fact it flew in (he may have screamed, he may not have -- no one can say for sure), but it mews like a normal cat. It washes its paw like a normal cat. It can't hurt to try to pet it, will it?
Nope, bad idea. Betrayal, blood, disappointment -- end scene. And end subject. )
How did you get bitten so much, anyway? ( If Emil gets to relive his embarrassment, Lalli can relive his. )
HMMMM
...Did something stupid. Didn't pay attention.
[Just going about his day, trying to avoid cats, hissing at the ones getting too close, like usual. Getting careless and swatting one away when it tried to land on him. He usually wore his gloves and they did a good job of protecting him, but... It was hot, these days. His delicate Finnish body can't take the heat.]
Kept being stupid. I was mad. Made...mistakes.
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This is actually something he can empathize with though. He's made mistakes before, he knows how much they can hurt...how they can be embarrassing. )
It's okay. You'll get better and it won't really matter. ( Maybe the more mature, seasoned advice would be something like "learn from your mistakes" or anything else equally Saturday Morning PSA worthy. But he's imperfect, Lalli's imperfect. That's why they get bit by mutant cats in the first place. ) Don't beat yourself up over it if it's already done.
( At least, that's what eventually works for him after he stresses out about something for an hour or five. )
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[He couldn't make mistakes. Onni had only impressed that on him even more as the years went by. Ms. Frizzle would have given Onni multiple heart attacks...]
Never mind. It won't happen again. And you won't get sick like me. You're going to stay here or be really, really careful.
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Still, if Lalli's moving on then Emil's not going to press the subject. He's sick after all. He huffs anyway -- he's not a child. )
I'm being careful! I'll go stand in the sun for an hour or two after this if it'll calm you down. ( Emil isn't entirely sure what the deal is with this illness outside of the cats and the bites, but that's makeshift decontamination procedure back home so. Why not? )
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[It has nothing to do with him calming down! He is calm! Well, no, he's agitated, and he hasn't really been able to stop being agitated for some reason. He doesn't like it.]
I mean careful with the dumb cats. Stay away from them, or -- or get them before they can get you.
[he might have made more than one corpse]
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I'll be fine with the cats. I'm the one who's only been bitten once, remember?
( Actually there have been a few close call scenarios but. Leaving those out in favor of throat clearing. )
And I definitely don't want to kill one unless it's absolutely necessary. ( In reality he's a bleeding heart...but isn't being a little too over zealous with a knife what got Lalli into this mess HMMMMM?? )
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Mrrrh. Don't be stupid. They're making people sick, making them hate cold and light! They're like trolls, just... Just don't look as gross. But we don't know what's going to happen. If you can't get away, letting them live would be a mistake.
[It's Heavily Implied by his tone that this would be Really Bad and Emil should feel Bad for even considering it an option.]
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...I'm not being stupid. I know when I have to kill something.
( He could go on about how he's not going to go hunt out every troll alive and just start whacking at it but he refrains. Emil isn't a fan of feeling like he's on the wrong end of things. Even if that feels routine as of late.
Instead of arguing he disappears for a second, becomes more than a little woozy as the blood rushes away from his head, but returns eventually with another small tin cracker box. They may be a little crumby
rimshot.mp3from being jostled in his pocket but they're food. )Eat some more. You need to. ( If he's starving after one bite, he can't even imagine the size of the horse Lalli could devour right now. )
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Mrrh. [And like a petulant child, he rolls to face the other direction again.] Doesn't help. Ate -- ate a lot earlier. Too much. It doesn't help at all.
[He narrows his eyes and picks at some floor lint, nails rasping a little as they made contact.]
...I know you're not stupid. [He was definitely being competent enough now to be Lalli's nurse, even with that ridiculous makeshift mask. Didn't mean Lalli wants to declare this any louder than a mumble.] Did you eat?
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( This isn't a lie necessarily. He did eat -- soup broth and an unidentifiable vegetable that, based on how it tasted, he's pretty sure was poisonous. Between those and the crackers, though, he's certainly not full. Especially after being soured by that horrid gourd.
Emil rolls again, missing the softly spoken statement and completely content to continue observing Lalli, agitated and fidgety though he may be. )
You don't have to eat them, but if you're hungry and you have food it can't hurt. ( Spoken like a kid who's had three square meals a day most of his life. Emil likes sharing this joy with you, Lalli. Let him... )
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Slowly, he reaches out to take it. It wasn't sweet, and it wouldn't satisfy him, and his stomach would protest at how much he was eating later, but -- but Emil was trying. He should try, too.]
...Emil. If I start to...be less me. And I don't go back. [If he changes, becomes one of them, is stuck dragging himself across floors and skittering on walls while only thinking of pain and his next meal.] Will you do it?
[that awkward moment when your best friend asks you about assisted suicide]
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Mm? Do what?
( Water your plants? Help blow your troll nose? File your taxes? Emil isn't convinced Lalli is going to turn into some werecat creature. He's concerned about the flu but not that he'd ever have to kill him. )
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[Theres a harder edge to his tone, now. There was no guarantee that his worst fears would come to pass, but it wasn't like there was no basis for it. He knew the signs. They'd been drilled into him since before he could comprehend their real meaning, the cost of living in an area where a group of people could be swept away before you knew it. Even the people he lived with. Emil's response made it seem like he wasn't taking this seriously at all, and it made the easy anger from the bites flare up again.]
You said you know when you have to kill something. Can you do it?
1/2
Even in the case of there being real infection going around in the silent world, Emil never considered a teammate actually being affected. The possibility was present, that's what decontamination procedures are for, no matter how pedantic and boring they may be...but that applied to freaks like Reynir or to Tuuri. To think of Lalli infected to the point of change was impossible, and so it was never even a "what if" scenario to play around with in his mind. )
What? No...! No, I-- No! ( He trails off, unable to find the ability to reiterate the words, even in a rejection. Emil has trouble mercy killing a dog, how in the hell is he supposed to help kill his best friend? Emil sits up, breaking eye contact in an attempt to let it sink in, almost immediately in a panic. Not only is he thinking about the idea of killing Lalli, even if he doesn't look like Lalli, but the idea that Lalli just asked him himself. )
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Is that what you want me to do? If that ever happens? ( His voice is softer, shaken and much more timid. Because if Lalli wants him to, then... )
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